Latest Update: July 14, 1999

Malia Jones on >en.net
Sure, she's a media darling, she's been in all the mags, but what better excuse to check out what Digital Entertainment Network is pulling off with streaming "webshows."

Parkinson Wins Billabong Pro
Gold Coaster Joel Parkinson outclassed the world's best (minus Slater of course) to win at Supertubes, Jeffrey's Bay.

Jaquias, Shimooka Retire from World Tour
Big Daddys quit "the show" to spend more time with their families says the Honolulu Star Bulletin.

Surfing Extends Life?
The documentary "Surfing for Life" recently wrapped up filming in Hawaii. It uses old surfers to illustrate strategies for healthier aging and features Rabbit Kekai, Doc Ball, John Kelly, and Eve Fletcher.

First "Real" Street Skate Contest?
Seattle's Revoution Street, a contest in which teams made up of a skater and videographer pair compete for one hour to see who can bring back the best footage, is set up for July 25th at the Snowboard Connection.

Swart and Finney Launch Clive
Industry gadfly and former Spy marketing person Tim Swart and former Salomon boot guy Todd Finney kick-start a backpack company. Ladies and gentleman, Clive has entered the building.

ESPN To Launch New Alterna-sport Site
Those marketing wizards at ESPN are building on their X Games franchise with a brand new website called EXPN.com. The site will probably feature all those sports you know and love plus music and gear.

Confessions of an Alcoholic Skateboarder
Charged.com, ever on the cutting edge of action culture, denated one of their columns to a drunk skateboarder named Charles Sashimi (Charlie Tuna?) who takes us through the 12 Steps. Apparently anyone can write for Charged.

Same Name Different Game
"Jamie Lynn has a wide variety of wedding accessories. Popular in 1999 are matching ensemble collections containing unity candles, glassware, cake ornaments, bridal & guest books and bridal garters."

Surfer Mag Launches New Travel Guides
And guess what? The first issue will cover that ultra-secret surf locale known as So. Cal. As if anyone needs a map. Then Baja, then and only then will they venture into the cool stuff.

"These Are Better Days" Premiere July 22
Bill Ballard's new surf film, "These Are Better Days" features Kalani Robb, Bruce Irons, Chris Ward, and others and will premiere July 22 at The Galaxy Theater in OC. A surf film at the Galaxy?

Hook-ups Is On Tour
The Hook-ups skateboard team is going all over the Deep, Deep south and then back up through the breadbasket July 16-28 performing stunts that will amaze you.

Random Quote
"I love the concept of a swimsuit in a skateboard/snowboard magazine. (Yes, if you do not know and cannot tell, I am being sarcastic.) --Jeff H., 13, on Warp Magazine's Swimsuit Issue in a letter to the Chicago Tribune.

Surf Diva at SD Lilith Fair
Izzy Tihanyi is at it again teaching those dirty haired folk singers to surf. Girl Power! Chick-a-bunga!

Chicago Suburb Entertains Helmet Law
Should skateboarders be required to wear helmets in Park Ridge, Illinois? That's what the public safety committee is discussing. Your town could be next. Inanity from the heartland.

Bolle Builds Goggles for Nike
The Swoosh goes the goggle route, and now you really can be over-logoed.

Previous Bags o' Crapola:
-July 12, 1999

Special thanks: to Jim Romenesko's MediaGossip.com for the idea. In the words of Eddie Murphy on doing Richard Pryor material, "It's a tribute."