Latest Update: July 22, 2001 by Ben Marcus

12:49 FRIDAY JULY 27, 2001 THE TV ROOM, AS USUAL, WHISTLER B.C.

ODOMETER
TRIP METER

MONEY
Russian/English electronic dictionary on Ebay: $48.50
AOL 800 charge (afraid to look): $#@#%^
Two Garmin GPS Plus II on Ebay: $300
60s era cattle prod on Ebay: $ 20
Sausage roll at Shakespeares: $ 2
Cost of having a Big Mouth: $Priceless

It's one in the morning and I think it's Friday. It's Friday. I'm watching Mumford with Colin and Dano. All those Capita snowboard hooligans have gone back to Vancouver, and the house is quiet. T.J is with his pretty girlfriend, whose name is Malvina, which is not the right name for a pretty girl. We're all going to chip in and buy her a new one.

I'm only vaguely aware of what is going on around me. It's weird to see guys snowboarding in July, but Whistler is quite a place. Tonight when I went for my meat pie constitutional, I saw a guy parapenting way up in the mountains and the light and shadows were nice. Whistler is one of those natural places that looks like it was designed.

I'm getting slandered and libeled all over the Internet by a bunch of anonymous schmucks: Carcus28 and some bodyboarder from Arizona called Speedbump are posting things all over Aggroville and ww.surferMag.com. There's just no shortage of mean-spirited schmucks in the world. I go after them and pay for it a little, but I don't care. Idiots.

A lot has happened since my last confession, but I am reluctant to talk about it because I got in trouble today with HQ for ñexposing my underwearî online, and the Russia trip almost got pulled out from under me. I'd love to give all the details and the e-mails and such, but I guess I'll just have to learn to be discreet.

Nawwwww.

Let's see. Today I finished the draft of the shark screenplay and sent it off to Mark Lyon by e-mail. I'm re-reading it now and I found a bunch of typos. Shawn A is connected with a producer who worked on Dances With Wolves and is trying to work a connection. Shaun Tomson wants to read it and I'm going to send it to Scot Anderson, the shark researcher who works in the Farallones. I also want to send it to Titus Kinimaka and others who know Hawaii, including Butch Helemano, again.

I have this thing about half-written and I want to send it to people who know Hawaiian and art and sharks and the ocean and TV journalism, and get some feedback and figure out how to finish it.

Anyone out there wants to read a screenplay about sharks, let me know. The more feedback, the merrier.

I got some swag today: Twelve pair of polarized sunglasses from Smith Sport Optics came in a Fed Ex box, and I was so happy. It was a good bunch of swag, and I wrote a grateful e-mail to Leah Butler, hoping I can make it worth her while. I've offered to do a daily sidebar in the Daily Journal for swell.com about the Russia trip. The Swell.com/Smith Sport Optic Swag Recipient of the day. Any of the pale, high-cheekboned, dark-haired and dangerous Natasha's or swarthy helicopter-flying Borises who get a pair of sunglasses I will interview and photograph and put online.

Just a thought. I want to make it worth their 12-pair while.

What else? Flame thought I was going at the wrongƒ..

Oh, can't talk about that.

Um. Called Brock and got him excited about buying guns inƒ.

Can't talk about that.

Sea Collins sent an e-mail about ñExtra Tropicalîƒ. Hmmmm. Censored.

What can I talk about?

I'm going to try to get out of Whistler tomorrow. I've been here a week already and I've accomplished a few things, but it's time to get moving north. Prince George is my next stop and then up and into the Yukon. Then Alaska. I'm hoping I have enough time to go to Dawson and over to Fairbanks and then up into ANWR before getting down to Anchorage a few days before we all leave..

There is a casino in Dawson that was closed in the winter but is probably jumping in the summer. I want to go there and piss away some money.

Um, there's a ton of stuff to talk about, but I guess I shouldn't.

There's all the planning for the O _ _ _ _ _ V _ _ _ _ A _ _ _ _ _ , the B_ _ _ S _ _ _ _ deal, the article about S _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ E_ _ _ _ _ for T _ _ and I still have to write up my Montana fishing stories.

I haven't heard anything from the fishing magazines I pitched Kamchatka to. Maybe they're over the place. I don't know.

Since the 23rd of September I have received 198 e-mails and sent 1126 Ü 919 = 207 e-mails. Good thing they don't charge for them or tax them.

Shawn Alladio wants me to write a profile on her and/or the use of PWC in the military for whatever magazine her sponsors choose. It looks like Shawn won't be going to Alaska to do water patrol, and that's a shame.

I sent Surfer's Journal an idea for a D_ _ _ P_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ article, and Pez liked the idea.

I read on SF Gate that Quokka had gone out of business after pissing away $350 million in someone else's money. They never made more than $4 million a month. Silly. I sent Hawk an e-mail suggesting he try to buy one of those satellite phone connections, that I might be able to use in Russia, and others will be able to use elsewhere.

I am still in love with that gun, the Russian SV 98 sniper rifle and I contacted the ATF who are going to fax me a list of weapons it is legal to bring into the country from Russia. Don't YOU want a sniper rifle? I think everyone should own one. It's single bolt action and effective up to 1000 meters. I just want to shoot some cans.

What kind of cans? Mexi-cans. Puerto Ri-cans.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.

Sorry. Kidding. Been up north too long.

Ike just came running in from outside, where I saw a raccoon prowling a while ago. And so did he.

Beyond that, everything is going on, but I'm tired and I don't want to piss off the bosses.

Loose lips sink trips, I guess.

Anyone want to read a shark movie? Send an address.

Anyone have anything to talk about?