Latest Update: August 15, 2001 by Ben Marcus

12:48 ALASKA TIME WEDNESDAY AUGUST 15, 2001 PARKING LOT AT UOFA FAIRBANKS

ODOMETER 62702
TRIP METER ???624

MONEY
Coffee and doughnuts this morning at Fred Meyers.
Fast-printed screenplay at Kinkos (130 pages X. 50)

Hey, I feel okay. I'm sleeping in the van with a 57-year-old Chatty Kathy who keeps bugging me about his damned motto and God and numbers and everything else under the sun. It's raining and I'm 40 years old and homeless and I'm walking around Fairbanks with unwashed hair, in a NATO-approved Extreme Cold Weather Parka, looking like all the other whacked-out Vietnam Vets in town. I'm listening to 70s-era classics like Frankenstein and Wild Horses and Supertramp and should be feeling old and homesick for the 70s, but I feel good.

ñI think I'm gonna have it tattooed on my forehead,î Gus just said about his fricking motto, then he continued. ñThere's a lot of pussy in Russia, I'll bet there's some woman who throws herself at you. I'll bet there is at least one. You represent power to them. Women fall in love with their ears and men fall in love with their eyes, and it's the f++king truth.î

I represent power. Is this guy full of it, or what?

Long day. Rainy day but I got some things done. I sent a nasty package off to that Frat Boy down in Southern California. I washed all my clothes and my blankets, and got the gas smell out of my bathrobe.

(Had a little spill last night. Gus started the barbeque using gasoline from the can. It took about two hours to get it started in the hobo camp park on the Chetna River in the middle of Fairbanks. The fire department came by to see what was up. Someone driving by had spotted a fire in the middle of the park, so they called the fire department. In California we would have gone to jail. In Alaska, no big deal. The guy asked a few questions, and moved on. I like Alaska.)

Anyway, we had some steaks and corn at the park, rounded up Ike and got out of there. We were looking for a place to stay and at one point we spotted a black cat toying with a field mouse by the side of the road. Ike couldn't get out of the van, and he didn't know whether to shit or go blind. I don't think I've ever seen a living animal as intent on something as Ike was on that little scene.

We ended up in the campground, even though Gus didn't want to pay $15 a night. I put the gas can in sideways and it dripped out and made a pretty good mess. Alaska gas stinks a bit more than ñLower 48î gas. I couldn't sleep even with all the doors and window open so I ended up pulling out everything that had been stained, and cutting out a lot of carpet. Stupid.

I didn't manage to mail that package to Jeff Galbraith, but I did manage to proof my half-written, too long screenplay about sharks, write a cover letter and get it printed. That cost me $70 at 50 cents a page, but maybe that's why I feel good. I've got all these writing projects banging around in my head and it's nice to have one out and down on paper so others can look it over.

I also got a few hits on the Prudhoe Bay Journal. Maybe that's why I feel good.

I think I feel good because I'm leaving Fairbanks tomorrow and driving to Anchorage by way of the pipeline and Valdez. I did a similar drive last year, from Tok to Valdez and then to Anchorage, and it is something to look forward to: glaciers and all that. Alaska is a different kind of spectacular down there, and I'm curious to see what it is like in summer.

Gus has some things to do tomorrow and I'm going to check General Delivery at Fairbanks PO tomorrow and then we're going to head south. Valdez by tomorrow night, poke around a little, check out the Pipeliner Club again, maybe see the Northern Lights and then head over to Anchorage along the Matanuska Valley. Should be nice.

But today was a little frustrating and then it evened out. People are finally responding and moving on the Russia trip, which is a good thing because it's about a week and a half away. Sheesh.

It is possible to track this day through e-mails. The first thing I did was send yet another plea for dough to Evan. For some reason he had to forward the money to me from his credit card. You'd think that Surfing Magazine would have some kind of system in place-a corporate credit card or something-but they don't.

Here was his response:

In a message dated 8/14/2001 8:54:35 AM Pacific Daylight Time, EvanSl@mcmullenargus.com writes:

EVAN: OK, OK. I'M DOING IT TODAY. AT LUNCH. FOUR F---ING GRAND ON MY CREDIT CARD.

ME: PLEASE DON'T USE LA---AGE LIKE THAT.

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU.

IT'S RIDICULOUS THAT SURFING MAKES YOU DO IT THAT WAY.

HOW LONG HAVE THEY BEEN IN BUSINESS AND THEY DON'T HAVE A SYSTEM???

BUT HERE'S THE THING: YOU NEED TO SEND ME RECEIPTS AS SOON AS YOU SPEND THE MONEY SO I CAN SUBMIT AN EXPENSE REPORT.

OH I'LL DO THAT WITH PLEASURE. IT'S STILL A STUPID SYSTEM.

I DON'T WANT THE INTEREST TO KILL ME.

PLEASE DON'T DIE.

DID KEITH TALK TO YOU? HE'S FIRED UP, BUT THE "MORE THE MERRIER" POLICY ISN'T GOING TO WORK.

$800 AN HOUR FOR HELICOPTERS IS WHAT THE "MORE THE MERRIER" POLICY IS ALL ABOUT.

I'M NOT GOING TO HAVE ANY MONEY TO PAY FOR IT OUT OF THE $4000, SO WHO WILL?????

HAVE YOU EVER TRIED GOING ON A SURF TRIP WITH 10-PLUS SURFERS?

THIS IS DIFFERENT. AND I LIKE THE CHAOS ANGLE. WE'RE GOING TO BE CAMPING, THERE COULD BE ATTRITION TO GRIZZLIES AND SUCH.

AND I'M A BORING PERSON. I WANT THERE TO BE EXCITING PEOPLE FOR ALL THE OTHER EXCITING PEOPLE TO BOUNCE OFF.

YOU'D USE MR. WALTHER WITHIN THE FIRST HOUR. LET'S STREAMLINE IT.

CAN'T BRING WEAPONS INTO RUSSIA, ALTHOUGH I JUST E-MAILED A LIST OF IMPORTABLE WEAPONS TO GREG NOLL. WANT TO SEE IT?

IT'S ALREADY STREAMLINED, I THINK. KEITH, RUFFO, FLEA AND THE TWO CANADIANS, MAYBE.

KEEP IT AT NO MORE THAN FOUR SURFERS, YOU, A PHOTOGRAPHER AND THE GUIDES. THAT'S IT. ALSO, SHOULD RUFFO AND FLEA EVEN GO IF THEY CAN ONLY BE THERE FOR A WEEK? DOESN'T SOUND LIKE A GOOD CALL TO ME.

WHO THE F##K ELSE WILL GO AT THIS LATE DATE? I'VE INVITED AS MANY AS I COULD, HOPING HALF WOULD MAKE IT.

WHERE ARE HANS AND STERLING AND HEALEY AND ROCKHOLD?????

HEALEY SAID HE COULDN'T GO BECAUSE TWO RUSTY GUYS WERE ALREADY OIN THE TRIP. SEND HIM FOR THE SECOND WEEK.

MAYBE THIS WILL JUST BE A ONE-WEEK TRIP. IF WE GET SURF, WE GO HOME.

I'VE GIVEN SHARP SOME GENERAL INFO -- HE'S STILL ON THE TRIP -- BUT WILL BE BACK IN A COUPLE OF DAYS.

I NEED TO KNOW AS SOON AS HE GETS BACK. NEED TO GET HIM PROCESSED.

WHAT IS HIS E-MAIL?

I'M GONNA GO WORK FOR THE OIL COMPANIES AFTER THIS.

THANKS FOR DEPOSITING THE DOUGH.

CALL BROCK ONE MORE TIME, WOULD YOU?

I WISH HE WOULD GO, JERK. WE COULD STILL GET HIM ON IF HE WANTS TO GO.

TELL HIM, "GUNS GUNS GUNS GUNS. CHEAP GUNS."

808-638-8281

Poor Evan. Poor me.

And speaking of guns, here is an e-mail I sent to Laura Noll for her big lunk of a husband.

Laura

Here is that list of legal guns from Russia.

If any of these spin Greg's propeller, please let me know.

Ben

Thank you for your email to ATF.

Please be advised that defense articles that were manufactured in or being exported from states of the former Soviet Union (Proscribed Countries) cannot be authorized for importation into the United States. These include any firearm located or manufactured in the Russian Federation and any firearm previously manufactured in the Soviet Union, that is not one of the models listed below:

A. BARS-4 Bolt Action Carbine.
B. Biathlon target rifle, .22LR caliber.
C. British Enfield rifle.
D. CM2, .22 caliber Target Rifle (also known as SM2, 22 caliber).
E. German Model 98K Rifle.
F. German Model G41 Rifle.
G. German Model G43 Rifle.
H. IZH-94.

I. LOS-7 Bolt Action Rifle.
J. MC-7-07.
K. MC-18-3.
L. MC-19-07.
M. MC-105-01.
N. MC-112-02.
O. MC-113-02.
P. MC-115-01.
Q. MC-125/127.
R. MC-126.
S. MC-128.
T. Saiga rifle.
U. Soviet Model 38 Carbine.
V. Soviet Model 44 Carbine.
W. Soviet Model 91/30 Rifle.
X. TOZ 18, .22 caliber Bolt Action Rifle.
Y. TOZ 55.
Z. TOZ 78.

AA. Ural Target Rifle, .22LR caliber.
BB. VEPR Rifle.
CC. Winchester Model 1895, Russian Model Rifle;

It appears the rifle you wish to import is not included in the above list and thus is not importable.

Reference 27 C.F.R. Part 47 section 47.52

For further questions you can contact the Firearms and Explosives Imports Branch at (202) 927-8320 from 8:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m., Eastern Time, Monday through Friday (except Federal Holidays).

Regards,

So the SV-98 single bolt action sinper rifle with silencer and glare reflector appears to be out of the question, dang it.

I sent that to Greg Noll but havenªft heard back. Itªfs probably good that I canªft get the SV-98 sniper rifle, because I donªft have the money.

Money was a concern today, as always.

I need money for this trip and my creditors are hounding the family.

Hereªfs an e-mail from brother Dan, the Understanding Man.

There baaaacckkkk...

Carl @ Discover, while appreciating the exciting nature of your life-style, would REALLY appreciate some contact.

1-800-347-5540 will reach the inbound phone bank.

I have fully detailed your existence, but for some reason, they would STILL like some money from you.

Strange, isn't it?

You see, bro, it works like this:

If you call them and say it's okay to use e-mail to contact you, they'll stop contacting us.

This would be a good thing (at least for us).
Much Grass!

I called Discover and told them to FRICKING CHILL OR I'D SICK MY SNIPER RIFLE ON THEM. No, I just said I wouldn't have any dough for awhile and that I was going to get rich in the oilfields and they should hang in there. I need to call Ford and Gateway and Fleet and Texaco and Chevron and several others and tell them the same thing.

I also had technical difficulties today. I e-mailed Final Draft and asked them how to convert a Final Draft file to a PDF. This was the response.

Save the document as an RTF file then convert to PDF using Adobe Acrobat. Unfortunately, our program does not convert to PDF format only to Rich Text Format. For further assistance with saving an RTF file to PDF you will need to go to the adobe website or help section of Adobe.

Deanna
Final Draft, Inc.
16000 Ventura Blvd.
Suite 800
Encino, CA 91436
818-995-2911
818-995-4422 (fax)

I also got an e-mail from the CBC. I think they had my e-mail address from when I sent my pitch for ñMyths, Legends, Rumors and Lies.î

Hi,

The popular series Music Works is back with 7 new episodes on CBC Television - starting Tuesday August 14th at 5:30pm for 7 weeks. Music Works features some of Canada's new and hottest bands/artists from across the country.

Attached please find a Press Release and Promotional Postcard.

Regards,

Adele Cardamone
Producer/Director
Music Works
CBC Television
613-724-5323
CBC Ottawa

Music Works website
www.ottawa.cbc.ca/musicworks

host & band photos
www3.cbc.ca/imagegallery

I wrote her an e-mail back.

Adele Cardamone
CBC TV

August 14, 2001

Adele

Did you ever get that pitch I sent out about Myths, Legends, Rumors and Lies? It was an idea for a music history program, which pokes back into things like the "Paul is Dead" campaign, the "Roller Coaster of Love" murder, the "Wizard of Oz/Dark Side of the Moon" phenomenon.

It's such a good idea, and I really like CBC Radio (Danielle Charbonneau. Oo oo la la!)

I thought Myths, Legends. Rumors and Lies would be a natural for CBC TV.

I can send you the idea again, if you like.

Let me know.

Ben Marcus

I got a response from Margie Bauman, who was the editor of the Prudhoe Bay Journal back in the 80s.

Hi Ben....

the internet is an amazing animal...

VERY LIBERATING. ONE OF THE MOST USEFUL TOOLS EVER INVENTED.

THANK YOU FOR RESPONDING.

yup, that's me...an official alumni of the Prudhoe Bay Journal, now living outside of Wasilla, Alaska, and working as a freelance writer and photographer.

ME TOO.

YOU CAN READ ABOUT ALL MY WANDERINGS AT:

WWW.SACKLUNCH.COM "TRAVELS WITH IKE"

IKE WOULD BE MY CAT. BEEN WITH ME SINCE CALIFORNIA, AND STILL ALIVE, SOMEHOW.

Your idea sounds intriguing.

HOPE THE OIL COMPANIES LIKE IT.

I DROVE OUT TO PRUDHOE THE OTHER DAY. QUITE A DRIVE. QUITE A PLACE.

I THINK THE PROBLEMS WITH OIL ARE ON THE CONSUMPTION SIDE, NOT THE PRODUCTION SIDE.

I would like to talk with you, if you are in the state and planning to be in the Matanuska Valley or Anchorage in the near future.

I'M HEADING THAT WAY NOW. FROM FAIRBANKS TO VALDEZ, THEN THAT RATHER SCENIC DRIVE FROM VALDEZ TO ANCHORAGE.

I DID IT LAST YEAR IN SEPTEMBER AND IT ALL LOOKED LIKE THE ICE PLANET TOTH. SOME OF THOSE VISTAS JUST DON'T LOOK REAL.

I'LL BE IN TOUCH.

THANKS FOR RESPONDING.

I'M HEADING FOR ANCHORAGE TO DO A SURF TRIP TO KAMCHTKA, RUSSIA. WE LEAVE AUGUST 26 AND RETURN (HOPEFULLY) TWO WEEKS LATER.

MY CRAZY KIDS ARE ALSO GOING TO ATTEMPT TO SURF THE TURNAGAIN ARM TIDAL BORE.

Margie Bauman

I also got an e-mail from the Team Guy at O'Neill Inc.

Hey Ben,

My name is Marc Prefontaine and I am the new team manager for O'Neill wetsuits

WELCOME.

HELLO.

ANY RELATION TO THE RUNNER?

and wanted to contact you regarding Ruffo's helli fees for the Russia trip.

I TOOK MIKE LOCATELLI SURFING FOR THE FIRST TIME IN HIS LIFE. THAT'S HOW FRICKING OLD I AM.

I want to make sure we get him on this if you are still planning on going (he mentioned that it has been pushed back a week and wasn't sure what was going to happen),

OH WE'RE DEFINITELY, ABSOLUTELY STILL GOING (I THINK) LOOKS LIKE AUGUST 26 TO SEPTEMBER 9.

and what I need is an Invoice from you that has all of his helli fees for the time in Russia.

HARD TO INVOICE WHAT HASN'T YET HAPPENED.

HELICOPTERS ARE $800 AN HOUR AND MAYBE $1000 A DAY.

I BELIEVE KEITH MALLOY, FLEA, RUFFO, MYSELF, THE PHOTOGRAPHER AND POSSIBLY TWO CRAZED CANADIANS ARE GOING.

SEVEN IS GOOD. TEN WOULD BE BETTER. STILL WORKING ON STUPID BROCK LITTLE. JERK.

NO IDEA HOW MUCH HELICOPTER TIME WE WILL NEED, ALTHOUGH I'M TOLD $800 AN HOUR ISN'T BAD.

He said it was $500 bucks a day divided by 5-6 people, but I need to get an invoice for his portion of the charges so that I have something solid to use and get a check request made.

HMMMM. SHOULD I MAKE ONE UP AND JUST CALL IT "GENERAL RUSSIA EXPENSES"

I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT WE ARE GETTING INTO, OR HOW MUCH IT WILL ALL COST.

I GUESS "THE MORE THE MERRIER" ISN'T VERU CORPORATE, EH?

I cannot do it without an invoice... this is a loop-hole that I found to help get him set up. Sorry for any inconvieniance that this may cause, but I want to get him on the trip and this is the only way I have of getting him the money he needs.

NO PROBLEM. CAN I JUST MAKE UP AN INVOICE? DOES IT HAVE TO COME FROM THE HELICOPTER COMPANY?

NONE OF THIS IS GOING TO HAPPEN IN ADVANCE, BY THE WAY.

THIS IS RUSSIA WE'RE DEALING WITH, NOT NORWAY.

Also, if you could include me on your distribution list for the developments of this trip (or others) that would be great.

WILL DO. YOU MISSED THE LAST 80 CHAPTERS, BUT I'LL SEND STUFF FROM TODAY.

LOOK FOR THE PAPERBACK ON BANTAM BOOKS, SOON.

Feel free to contact me anytime and I look forward to hearing from you.

WILL DO.

BY THE WAY, IF YOU ARE THE ONE WHO WILL BE LOADING RUFFO DOWN WITH SWAG, PLEASE LOAD HIM GOOD. WE WANT TO SHOW UP THERE LIKE SANTA CLAUS. LOTS OF PRESENTS FOR ALL THE GOOD BOYS AND GIRLS.

DOES O'NEILL MAKE CONDOMS YET? NO? DAMN.

T-SHIRTS, SHORTS, SHOES, SUNGLASSES, ETC, ETC,

HERE IS THE ADDRESS YOU CAN MAIL IT ALL TO:

BEN MARCUS
C/O ScottLiska
10921 Kasilof Blvd
Anchorage,Alaska
99516

Cheers,

Marc Prefontaine

Phone: 831.479.5570

THANK YOU.

WHAT FLAVOR CAVIAR DO YOU WANT?

WHAT ABOUT MR. ROCKHOLD? WE NEED HIM.

Later in the day I got another money e-mail from Evan. I had complained that $4000 wasn't enough, thinking the plant tickets along would come to $3600. My math was a little off.

Sorry, but it's all I'm allotted. I know you've been pitching this to other non-surfing mags, so maybe you can get help from them. It's a big financial risk on the mag's part, and four grand is about as far as I can go for a trip that very well could yield nothing. I might be able to squeeze a little more after the trip (and after you score), but 4 grand is our advance. sorry.

That Margie Bauman response was encouraging, so I sent the draft proposal to the University of Alaska, Fairbanks.

< 1 minute

Claudia Clark
Journalism Department
University of Alaska, Fairbanks

August 14, 2001

Ms. Clark

I am in Fairbanks, recovering from that grueling drive out to Prudhoe Bay and back. I went out there curious about the whole ANWR debate, and while I was there I came up with an idea for something to keep me occupied for a year or so, and something that the Journalism Department of the University of Alaska, Fairbanks might want to take over when I leave.

I have attached a rough draft of the proposal, which should give you an idea of what I want to do.

I want to start a weekly or bi-weekly journal that covers the upstream Alaska oil-field production industry, from Prudhoe Bay to Valdez.

I have used Samuel Clemens and the Territorial Enterprise as a model for what the Prudhoe Bay Pipeline could be.

When I saw the Alyeska Pipeline on the drive up to Prudhoe I saw it as equally functional and aesthetic. It's a masterpiece of engineering, and I was as awed by it as I was when I saw Cristo's Umbrella Project in Los Angeles a few years back.

The Prudhoe Bay Pipeline will be similar, a functional project that borders on art. The challenge will be taking something that most people see as kind of dry-the oil industry-and making it interesting and funny.

I think I'm up to the challenge, and I'm going to attempt to convince the oil companies to let me start this project.

Knowing me as well as I do, I know that I will get bored with it within a year. That is why I am thinking that the Journalism Department of the University of Alaska, Fairbanks might want to take it over.

There are a lot of people out there looking for something to do, and the editorship of the Prudhoe Bay Pipeline could be a prized internship among your best journalism students.

I don't know what the attitude is toward the oil companies around the campus. From what I saw at Prudhoe Bay, the real evil is on the consumption side of things, not one the production side. Oil is produced with a lot more efficiency and respect than it is consumed.

Let me know if you are interested. The draft proposal attached is incomplete, but should give you some idea.

I am going to Kamchatka, Russia from August 26 until September 9. I am best contacted by e-mail.

Thank you.

Ben Marcus
TheBenM@AOL.com

As the day went on, I started a correspondence with a friend of Shawn Alladios who she calls Pentagon Bob.

In a message dated 8/14/2001 3:14:26 PM Pacific Daylight Time, greenrb@mindspring.com writes:

Hey Ben,

Really enjoying your journal through BC/Yukon and Alaska. Shawn's been kind enough to share.

SHE'S VERY KIND.

It's always nice to get her missives from S. Africa or wherever she happens to be at the moment, and it's been great reading yours. You both have a unique, keen and irreverent insight to the sights you see- and you both obviously like to write it down.

JUST NEED AN AUDIENCE, I GUESS.

Did the same trip a few years back, but a bit more sedate I'm afraid. My brother and I took our parents for a cruise along the entire ALCAN then down to Anchorage and over to Haines where we grabbed the Alaska State Ferry for a ride back down to Bellingham, WA.

NOT THAT SEDATE. COMPARED TO THE HAUL ROAD IT WAS, MAYBE.

Kind of surprised how expensive it was to bring a vehicle on the ferry, but if you're traveling light, they let folks camp on the rear fantail deck.

IT IS EXPENSIVE. I HAD A VAN SO GOT CHARGED A LOT.

GOT TIRED OF THE FERRY PRETTY QUICK. "MONOTONOUSLY SPECTACULAR" I CALLED IT.

Everybody who's camping just duct tapes the corner of their tents down to the deck. Neat atmosphere and the price is cheap.

I'D LOVE TO TAKE A PRIVATE BOAT UP THE INSIDE PASSAGE AND POKE AROUND AND EAT SALMON

Didn't make it out to Prudhoe, but my Dad looked longingly at the turnoff to whatever hwy it is that goes up to Inuvik.

DAWSON HIGHWAY? I ALMOST DID IT LAST YEAR.

It's that turnoff just before you head into Dawson City from the South. I'm sure you recall Pelly Crossing on that stretch from Whitehorse to Dawson City. Is that not one isolated spot on the Earth?

VERY ISOLATED. HAVE TO MARVEL AT THE 1896 GOLD GUYS GETTING UP THERE ON FOOT AND RAFT. UNBIELIVABLE, REALLY.

ALTHOUGH DAWSON IS REALLY REALLY NICE IN THE SUMMER. LOTS AND LOTS OF LIGHT

That little village looked cold in the summer, can't imagine what it's like in the winter.

I WAS THERE IN SEPTEMBER, GETTING ICY. JANUARY? FORGETABOUT IT..

With older parents, we were of course doing the gas-guzzling motorhome deal- not much choice. Didn't tow an SUV though!

GOOD FOR YOU.

Amazing the bumper-to-bumper motorhome traffic you can see up there in the middle of nowhere.

OH YES. AMAZING THE SIZE OF SOME OF THOSE RIGS. WE BATHE IN OIL.

My Dad, if allowed, would have driven every paved mile in BC and the Yukon if we'd have let him.

NOT THAT MUCH, REALLY.

Only had about 3 weeks though. We also did the Top-of-the-World Hwy out of Dawson- kind of exciting sliding around in a motorhome on 100 miles of dirt and gravel.

JUST DID IT A FEW DAYS AGO. PICTURESQUE. ESPECIALLY THAT GIANT GOLD DREDGE IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE.

We all ought to be thankful we're not stationed at that US Border checkpoint on that hwy. Talk a!! bout lost-in-place.

YES, THEY BORDER GUY LOOKED BORED. SCENERY WOULD WEAR YOU DOWN, EVENTUALLY.

Got snowed on there, about 3 inches on an Aug. 27th.

I BELIEVE IT.

Anyway, enough on all that old folks chat. Shawn forgot to send me your journal from Watson Lake to Prudhoe, or either she didn't get it. Last I had heard, you were still in Watson Lake looking for Ike. Anyway I can get some back issues?

IT'S ALL ONLINE AT WWW.SACKLUNCH.COM "TRAVELS WITH IKE."

Will make it worth your while. I'll try and see if I can get that paypal deal to work and send a few bucks. No need to worry about paying it back- but you'll have to take Shawnie out to dinner the next time you see her.

OKAY. I THINK I'M WRITING A MOVIE ABOUT HER OR SOMETHING.

Don't see how you can refuse that good deal!!

JUST WISH SHE COULD COME UP TO ANCHORAGE TO DO WATER PATROL FOR THE TIDAL BORE ATTEMPT.

FYI, I'm trying to help her set up some more of the classes she does for us military guys.

THAT'S NICE OF YOU.

Every unit she has worked with loves the training, and we need to spread the good word. I'm actually an Army Special Forces Reservist on an extended active duty tour at the moment.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING, IF YOU CAN TELL ME?

I JUST READ, IN ORDER: SEVEN PILLARS OF WISDOM, IN RETROSPECT AND THE GENERALS WAR, SO MY HEAD IS SPINNING.

I WAS NEVER IN THE MILITARY. TOO CLOSE TO VIETNAM, BUT I'VE CHANGED MY TUNE SINCE. THE MORE THE MERRIER. IT'S A BIG, NASTY UNSTABLE WORLD OUT THERE. WE'RE THE GOOD GUYS. MOST PEOPLE LIVE IN A BUBBLE AND DON'T REALIZE THAT.

SPENT 24 HOURS ABOARD THE INDEPENDENCE WATCHING A MOVIE CALLED "FLIGHT OF THE INTRUDER" BEING SHOT. FLEW OUT, GOT TRAPPED ON THE COD FLIGHT AND SHOT OFF THE NEXT DAY. THAT WAS AN EYE-OPENER.

SAW A "CRASH TAPE" OF ALL THE WORST CARRIER CRASHES FROM BIPLANES TO NOW. HOLY SHIT. I USED TO ENVY THOSE GUYS.

THE OTHER DAY DROVE DOWN TO EILESON TO SEE SOME A-10S TAKE OFF. WHAT A BITCHIN' LITTLE PLANE. WHAT A NASTY LITTLE PLANE.

ANYONE WHO PROVOKES THE U.S.OF A IS REALLY, REALLY STUPID THESE DAYS.

Did five years active back in the late 70's, early 80's then back to school and stayed in the Reserves. Kind of interesting to get back in the swing of the active military for a few months. Enough of the old war stories too ("Well sonny, let me tell you about the time it was just me and the Sergeant Major, knee deep in hand grenade pins, and the Commies coming through the wire.")

NOT TOO LONG AGO. DON'T LIKE THOSE COMMIES. CAN'T TRUST 'EM.

Problem is, one of those Sergeant Majors sits right down the hall from me. Hey, what's this with you knowing about Dragonov sniper rifles?? Not the usual surfer knowledge base.

I JUST HAVE A THING ABOUT SNIPER RIFLES, FOR SOME REASON. THE RUSSIANS MAKE SOME INTERESTING ONES, BUT I CAN'T BRING THEM BACK IN.

I SHOT A DEER ONCE IN TEXAS AND I WILL NEVER HUNT AGAIN. LIVE AND LET LIVE, I SAY, BUT I LIKE PRECISION GUNS.

I HAVE A WALTHER PPK AND A 12 GAUGE WINCHESTER STAINLESS STEEL.

WAR IS HISTORY AND GUNS ARE HISTORY, WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT.

I was asking Shawn if you'd been in the military. You slipped up and used 24 hr time in one of your msgs. Were you in at one time, or just a wpn buff? The trip to Russia sounds pretty cool, but I'm stuck here being a Chairborne Ranger at the moment. WHERE IS HERE? PENTAGON?

LOTS OF MILITARY IN FAIRBANKS, AS YOU KNOW.

EILESON IS A VERY NICE AFB.

The ATF list from Russia seems pretty limited, but if you're into biathlon, I here they make a fairly decent .22cal., which is on the list.

I SAW THAT. WONDER HOW MUCH THEY COST? I HEAR EVERYTHING IS FOR SALE THERE, FROM SNIPER RIFLES TO NUKES.

Not for me though. Don't think my interests are on the list either- those sniper rifles are mighty nice.

ILL SEND YOU SOMETHING ON THE SV-98. JUST A NICE-LOOKING GUN, IN THE RUSSIAN EVIL SORT OF WAY.

Sort of crudely designed, functionally attractive, very dependable and accurate as hell at mid-ranges.

YEP. AS AM I.

So, keep Shawn and I on the address list, and I'll try and figure out this paypal deal- Deal?

DONE. YOU CAN READ ALL THE BACK STUFF AT WWW.SACKLUNCH.COM TRAVELS WITH IKE.

HE'S MISSING AGAIN RIGHT NOW. THE GUY I'M TRAVELING WITH, GUS IS ITCHING TO GET TO ANCHORAGE.

BIT OF A PAIN, BUT I'M NICE AND HELPING HIM OUT.

FYI, Anchorage also has a really nice city/state park right in town.

GOOD. I THINK I'LL NEED IT, ALTHOUGH THERE IS A GUY THERE NAME SHANE MCINTYRE WHO I THINK WAS CIA OR SOMETHING. MIGHT STAY WITH HIM.

Sort of on the NW side if I recall, can't remember the name either. All the locals can direct you though.

I'LL FIND IT.

PS- I hope your Prudhoe Journal idea works out.

ME TOO. IT WOULD BE INTERESTING. I'VE ALWAYS BEEN A LITTLE FASCINATED BY THE OIL INDUSTRY AND ALL THE ENGINEERING.

EVER SEE THAT DISCOVEYR CHANNEL SHOW ON THE TROLL NATURAL GAS PLATFORM?

I'd just head back up there and start knocking on doors.

THE DOORS ARE DOWN HERE. I'LL PUT THAT PROPOSAL TOGETHER AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS.

Wouldn't worry at all about lack of experience in the oil bidness.

I'M NOT.

From my corporate experience, I can tell you that most trade journal editors have no background at all in that field initially. They're hired because they can write, are smart enough to learn the basis of the industry PDQ and can manage folks well enough to get the mag out on the street.

THAT'S ME.

Those guys jump from industry to industry all the time. Wherever they can find a better job, higher profile publication.

THIS WON'T BE HIGH PROFILE, JUST SOMETHING INTERESTING TO DO. START FROM THE GROUND UP.

IT'S GOING TO GET INTERESTING UP THERE, WITH THE ALASKA NATURAL GAS PIPELINE AND ANWR GOING THROUGH, WHICH IT CERTAIN TO.

TOO MUCH MONEY NOT TO.

AND THERE MIGHT BE SOME SPACE OUT THERE TO SHOOT MY SNIPER RIFLES, ALTHOUGH NOT WITHIN FIVE MILES OF THE PIPELINE ON EITHER SIDE.

THEY'RE AS SAFETY CONSCIOUS AS THE NAVY.

Keep up the good work, Bobby Green

I WILL. THANK YOU.

TELL ME MORE ABOUT YOUR WORK IF YOU CAN.

And believe it or not, I also came up with another marketing idea that someone should use but probably won't.

This would be for Rusty and would be a play on the Our Gang theme.

R Gang? Get it?

Burger

I think it would work.

Darla = Sarena.

Spanky = Chris Ward.

Who are the Big Wigs these days?

Might be expensive to use the R Gang images, but you never know.

I pitched this thing a looooooong time ago, but things take time.

I gave E = MC(d) to MCD and it took them three years.

Let me know if anyone likes it.

Ben

Ive seen worse ideas.

Everyone loves the Little Rascals, no?

You could do a whole video around that theme. Maybe do a rocking version of the Little Rascals theme.

It would be cool.

Might win a Video Award.

Let me know.

More communication. This one was to Evan and Sean Collins, and Sean responded.

In a message dated 8/14/2001 6:46:58 PM Pacific Daylight Time, scollins@surfline.com writes:

Ben, Didn't see other email. It's looking just about the way it shold look for this time of year. They've already had one extra-tropical low happen up there around the 10th. It looks like it will really open up around the 19th as the high pressure weakens offshore and moves further east. Remnants from another tropical storm will drift up there by the 19th as well likely producing another good low offshore. After that it should become more consistent with more lows and swell. All for now... Sean...

SOUNDS GOOD.

WHAT ABOUT WEATHER AND LIGHT AND SUCH?

WHAT ARE WE LOOKING FOR? HIGH PRESSURE?

IM IN ALASKA AND I'D FORGOTTEN HOW MUCH IT CHANGES FROM DAY TO DAY. BUT I'M HIGHER HERE IN FAIRBANKS THAN WE WILL BE THERE. IN KAMCHATKA

DROVE TO PRUDHOE BAY AND BACK THE OTHER DAY, UP TO ANWR AND ALL THAT. WHAT A WORLD. GRIZZLIES AND WOLVES AND TUNDRA AND WOW

And there was an e-mail with Karen Gallagher in Hawaii.

In a message dated 8/14/2001 7:01:25 PM Pacific Daylight Time, GALLYPACOTE writes:

Rushin' to Russia, may be there for your birthday????

41ST FUCKING BIRTHDAY. GOD I LOOK LIKE HELL.

That would be cool...Okay, I can't stand it anymore...what are these mottos that Gus is selling?? I CAN'T STAND IT ANYMORE EITHER. I'LL SEND THE JPEG.

AND an idea that perhaps others have stated, why not put your e-mail address, or perhaps your van's plate number on Ike's collar??

E-MAIL ADDRESS IS ON THERE. CAN PLATE NUMBER IS A GOOD IDEA, BUT PROBABLY WOULDN'T WORK.

Good luck, hoping ya gets there. I read the Journal version of Crouching Tiger, it came out SO good, it just ain't fair.

I ADMIT IT. I NAILED THAT THING. TOTALLY IN THE ZONE.

Well, Waimea Park is open free this month, so we wents there, and are off to Waimea beach now, after finishing a late lunch. Stay Warm, I'll stay cool...KAREN

OKAY THEN.

HOW IS THE SURF SCHOOL GOING?

And I sent an e-mail to Yegor, our long-suffering Russian guide.

Yegor

Looks like this thing might actually happen.

I finally got the expense money from Surfing today.

Should I send it to you, or pay you when we get to Kamchatka?

What is the most convenient of your accounts?

I assume the US accounts are easier?

Let me know, please.

Sorry for all the hassle. Some of these guys are not too bright, but you love them when they get in the ocean. `

You'll see.

Ben

I also finally sent that mean prank idea I got way back in Montana. This was the cover letter.

XXXXX XXXXX SURFER Magazine
Hellhole, Southern California
USA

August 14, 2001

Hey Big Shot,

Congratulations on the New Bosses. Same as the Old Bosses pretty much, eh?

Do you even know who you're taking orders from now?

Is it XXX XXXXXX? He's your superior? Great. You must be very proud.

You'll be fine, though. Just keep playing along, kissing ass and doing as you're told-as you have been doing so well-and you can keep your job.

Work real hard, and they might even give you a window.

Thought you might have worn out your old pair of these shuffling around the warehouses of Orange County, so here's a cadeau.

They're Monica Lewinsky approved. Perfect.

Have fun down there.

Love,

Ben
Alaska

So that was mean and fun. I sent those catcher knee-pads with the love note.

I also had another e-mail conversation with a friend of Shawn Alladios'

In a message dated 8/14/2001 10:01:26 PM Pacific Daylight Time, greenrb@mindspring.com writes:

Going to write a movie about Shawn huh?

THAT'S CLASSIFIED, MISTER.

GOING TO TRY. I THINK SHE'S INTERESTING ENOUGH.

NEED A STORY AND A STRUCTURE IS ALL.

Man, that would probably take a while. As we say in the military- "Been everywhere, done everything and has the t-shirt to prove it." Can I read the drafts?

ACTUALLY I WANT TO SEND YOU THE DRAFTS OF ANOTHER SCREENPLAY YOU MIGHT LIKE. IT'S ABOUT SHARKS AND THE OCENA AND SUCH AND THERE IS A CHARACTER IN IT NAMED BUTCH WHO IS A SPECIAL FORCES GUY (NAVY SEAL) WITH A GUILTY CONSCIENCE THAT NEEDS HEALING.

I WANT TO MAKE BUTCH AS REALISTIC AS POSSIBLE, AND YOU MAY BE ABLE TO HELP ME THERE.

I'M GOING TO PRINT COPIES TONIGHT AND MAIL THEM TOMORROW FOR PEOPLE TO READ.

YOU HAVE AN ADDRESS?

That tidal bore deal sounds... interesting?

I SAW IT LAST YEAR. EERIE. NOT A BIG WAVE, BUT AN EERIE WAVE.

IT JUST KEEPS GOING.

Well, actually to a non-surfer it sounds like lunacy. I've seen that beast come up the Turnagain Arm and would not like to be out in front. I'm big into sea kayaking and tidal bores are not the place to be. However, if anyone can do it, your boys can.

OH YEAH. THEY'LL BE ALL OVER IT.

THE DANGEROUS THING ABOUT TURNAGAIN ARM IS GETTING STUCK IN THE GLACIAL SILT. THEY CAN'T GET YOU OUT.

Shawn sent me a video of some shots from Mavs- Wooeee, quite the impressive show.

IT'S AN AMAZING WAVE.

Monotonously Spectactular along the Inside Passage- you're killing me. But true. Kind of like the ALCAN.

YEP. ALCAN CHANGES, THE INSIDE PASSAGE REALLY DOESNT.

You think you've just seen the most amazing scenery in the world- until you go around the next bend. Particularly that stretch just before and after Muncho Lake.

I DONT THINK I'VE BEEN TO MUNCHO LAKE.

I THINK THE CASSIAR HIGHWAY FROM SMITHERS TO WATSON LAKE WINS THE PRIZE.

Did you stop at that huge wooden lodge there? It's run by a German guy who used to fly planes in Libya for Elf-Aquataine, the big French oil company.

I'M READING ABOUT LIBYA AND OIL RIGHT NOW. QADDAFI QADUCK JUST GRABBED IT ALL AND NATIONALIZED IT.

PRICK.

Says he'll guarantee he can fly you to any number of lakes in the area that no one else has fished, ever. He's pricey though. Got a beautiful Beaver float plane. Picture perfect.

I CAN IMAGINE.

Yeah, the winter in the Yukon- forgetaboutit is about right. Took the tour of the big gold dredge just outside of Dawson.

HOW THE HECK DID THEY GET THAT THING UP THERE IN 1896? AMAZING.

Tour guide said they always had to stop dredging by the first of Nov. because it would be dropping down to minus 60F by then and steel gets brittle and breaks easily at minus 60. I think my friggin nose would be brittle and break off at minus 60. Have fun in Prudhoe Bay!!!! Just slightly on the North side of Dawson.

OH A LITTLE BIT NORTH.

BEAUTIFUL UP THERE, THOUGH.

THE INTERIORS REMIND ME OF ALIEN AND THE NOSTROMO.

Nice to hear of your interest in the military.

STRANGE INTEREST. I THINK WAR HAS BEEN MOOT SINCE WE DROPPED THE FIRST NUKE ON JAPAN, BUT IT SEEMS TO GET GOING.

THE MACHINERY OF WAR FASCINATES ME.

I'VE ALWAYS SAID IF I COULD GO BACK IN HISTORY AND BE ANY ONE THING, A P-51 PILOT IN GERMANY WOULD BE IT.

I LOVE THAT PLANE. SEXIEST AIRPLANE EVER MADE.

I WENT UP IN A B-17 LAST SUMMER. SAT IN THE BOMBARDIER'S SEAT IN THE NOSE CONE ON TAKEOFF.

THAT PLANE HAS A LOT OF GUNS.,

Great opportunity you had to get a trap on the Independence. Quite a deal that.

OH IT WAS.

About 3 years ago I got to spend 2 weeks during an exercise out on the carrier Theodore Roosevelt, or the "Big Stick" as the crew calls it.

WHERE WERE YOU, IF THAT ISN'T CLASSIFIED.

And a jolly damn big stick it is.

AMAZING.

If you don't get a hard-on watching those guys

launch a squadron of F-14s, you ain't pumping blood.

I AGREE. IT'S JUST AWESOME.

SAW A GUY ON THE INDY DO AN AFTER-BURNER TAKE OFF.

IT WAS STAR WARS.

AND GETTING SHOT OFF THE NEXT DAY WAS INTERESTING. NO ROLLER COASTER WILL MATCH IT.

Same with watching those A-10s fire that bad ass .30mm gatling gun mounted in their nose.

WHERE DID YOU GET TO SEE THAT? WHAT A CUTE, NASTY PLANE THAT IS.

THAT PLANE WAS THE LAST THING AN AWFUL LOT OF IRAQIS SAW ON THIS EARTH.

ESPECIALLY THE DIPSHITS WHO BURIED THEIR TANKS UP TO THEIR TURRETS IN SAND.

DOH!

Got two Air Force buddies who are A-10 jocks, one active and one in the Reserves.

They love it.

I SAW FOUR OF THEM TAKE OFF AND GO HOT-DOGGING AROUND ALASKA. WOULD THAT BE FUN?

All us ground-pounders love 'em too. As the pilots are fond of saying to us Army guys- Close Air Support is for when you guys are "all out of Hooaaah!" Quite the truth there.

I CAN IMAGINE GROUND GUYS BEING VERY VERY GRATEFUL WHEN THE A-10S SHOWED UP.

WERE YOU IN THE GULF, OR IS THAT CLASSIFIED?

"THE GENERALS WAR" IS AN INTERESTING BOOK.

I WONDERED TWO THINGS:

WHAT DID HUSSEIN IMAGINE HE WAS GOING TO ACCOMPLISH?

AND

WHY DIDN'T WE FINISH HIM OFF?

I'M CONVINCED HE HAS US BLACK-MAILED WITH A NUKE OR AN ANTHRAX BOMB OR SOMETHING HEINOUS. THAT'S WHAT I WOULD DO IF I WANTED TO STAY ALIVE.

Interesting on the guns- I've got the Walther also(must be that James Bond thing),

I HAVE A FRIEND WHO WAS BRITISH SAS WHO SAID THE WALTHER IS GOOD FOR ONE THING: PUTTING A BULLET IN THE BACK OF SOMEONE'S HEAD.

NOT A TREMENDOUSLY ACCURATE GUN.

but gotta tell you I think the Remington 870 is the better shotgun. If you appreciate well-made handguns, you should look at the Glock- a high tech masterpiece.

REALLY? I'LL LOOK INTO IT. I'M NOT A GUN NUT, BUT THEY INTEREST ME.

I BOUGHT MINE FOR BEAR PROTECTION UP THERE.

SAW A .50 CALIBER LAR FOR SALE IN FAIRBANKS, AND ALSO A .22 GATLING GUN.

Agree on the hunting, haven't since I was in college many a moon ago.

LIVE AND LET LIVE. THERE ARE HUMANS I'D HUNT BEFORE ANIMALS.

You practice hunting the ultimate game for so long and your viewpoint on the animals out in the woods changes- or did for me.

I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE SAYING. HAVING THAT DEER IN MY SIGHTS MADE ME UNDERSTAND WAR. IT WAS "A MOMENT OF CLARITY."

Recommend a book you'd probably find eye-opening- "Blackhawk Down," about the debacle in Mogadishu.

I READ EXCERPTS OF IT A WHILE AGO.

I WANT TO READ GENERAL CLARK'S BOOK. I LIKE THE CUT OF HIS JIB, BUT I DON'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT HIM.

FOUGHT A WAR, DIDN'T LOSE A GUY, GOT CANNED.

GEEZ. WHATSA A GUY GOT TO DO?

Everybody around here has read it several times. DOD sent some guys and equip. over to Morocco to support the filming of the movie which is due out next year.

IM SURPRISED ARMY IS SUPPORTING A MOVIE ABOUT SUCH A MESS.

You asked what I do- I'm the J3, the Director of Operations for Special Operations Command here in Norfolk.

THAT SOUNDS JUICY.

Just doing it temp. for about 4 months until they can get an active duty guy in the position. We coordinate the Joint Training exercises for all the special operations forces(Special Forces, Rangers, SEALS and Air Force Special Tactics Troops) based in the US.

WOW. INTERESTING WORK. GET TO USE ALL THE FUN TOYS, YES?

HAVE ONE FRIEND WHO WAS IN THE SEALS. ANNAPOLIS THEN SEAL TRAINING AND AFTER THAT, "A FIVE-YEAR WASTE OF TIME."

Have a big one going on at the moment. The "Big Stick" is actually involved in this one, BTW. Go Teddy!

SO MUCH FIREPOWER ON THAT ONE SHIP. IS THAT THE ONE THAT SAYS "500,00 TONS OF DIPLOMACY" ON THE STERN? I THOUGHT I SAW IT IN SEATTLE.

Now there's a guy who would have no problem knowing what to do in the world arena at the moment. Interesting fellow. Was awarded the Medal of Honor about a year or so ago, quite belatedly for San Juan Hill. Quite well deserved when you read the official actions, but he had pissed off the Secy. of War (before he became President), and his unit's submission of the award was "lost."

POLITICS. MORE DANGEROUS THAN ANY LANDMINE.

Anyway, have fun on your birthday while in Kamchatka.

IM HOPING TO SEE ONE OF THOSE BEAR BOMBERS. WHAT AN EVIL-LOOKING PLANE.

Hope you catch a big char or salmon or whatever they have over there.

STEELHEAD, HOPEFULLY.

Mine's actually coming up on the 25th of Aug.- spent it in Watson Lake back in '98. Wish I was there now.

THEY HAVE A GREAT LIBRARY WITH A T1 LINE

SEND ME YOUR ADDRESS AND I'LL SEND YOU THAT SCREENPLAY. I'M SURE YOU KNOW MEN LIKE THE "BUTCH" CHARACTER.

HE REDEEMS HIMSELF BY USING HIS SEAL SKILLS TO DO AN ENVIRONMENTAL GOOD DEED.

I THINK YOU'LL LIKE IT.,

All the best,

Bobby

THANKS.

In a message dated 8/14/2001 10:20:37 PM Pacific Daylight Time, greenrb@mindspring.com writes:

They had a special on the Discovery Channel over the weekend about Brown bears and grizzlies(same bear essentially). Said don't run if charged. Stand your ground and slowly back away if possible if you surprise one. The charge may be a feint, but if you run- you're game. No need to run actually, they can maintain 20mph for up to 5 min. as timed by biologists in helicopters- Jeez. As the bumper sticker I saw at a surplus store at Ft. Bragg said: "Special Forces Sniper: Don't Run, You'll Only Die Tired."

GRIZZLIES ARENT TO BE TRIFLED WITH.

Also, don't drop your backpack. If you're rolled, may be the only thing that keeps the jaws off the back of your neck.

IVE HEARD THAT, TOO.

The large, pint-sized pepper spray cans do work. Saw them for sale all over Alaska, with belt holster. Aim for the mouth and/or eyes. Got to wait until you see the "white of their eyes" though. Now that'll take a pair to be able to stand there and do that trick. Other option is always the shotgun with 00 buckshot alternated with slugs and a .45cal automatic on your hip.

THE SHOTGUN IS WHAT I HAVE. THE WALTHER WOULDNT BE MUCH GOOD.

THOSE 45S LEAVE A HOLE, DONT THEY???!!!

Steady aim me boys. It was mentioned that the best defense was to make a hell of a lot of racket with your voice while moving through the brush, so you don't surprise one. Cheapest alternative too.

I DO THAT. I WHISTLE. IT GETS SPOOKY UP HERE.

Gotta love the Discovery Channel. BTW, didn't see the TROLL Gas Platform show, but will have to look it up.

LOOK IT UP. AN AMAZING THING.

Good luck,

Bobby

That was my day. Lots of e-mails, mean and nice nad hopeful and frustrating.. Sorry to bore you with them all.