BORED!
A
Proposal for a Series of Half-Hour TV Shows Documenting the
World's Greatest Tidal Bores, and the Brave Men and Women Who
Dare to Ride Them.
SYNOPSIS
The
tidal waves we think we know are pretenders. Frauds. "Tidal
wave" is a misnomer for the "seismic waves" generated
by massive shifts in the earth's crust. The "tidal waves"
that have caused so much death and destruction in Alaska, Peru,
California, Hawaii, Japan and Java over the past few centuries
occur without warning or mercy, and they have given the real
tidal waves a bad rap.
Tidal
bores are nature's real tidal waves: reliable, predictable natural
phenomena occurring in more than a dozen rivers, estuaries and
inlets around the world, where geography constricts the ebb
and flow of ocean tides. In places like Turnagain Arm in Alaska
and the Severn Estuary in England, ocean tides flow inland into
long, funneling bodies of water. The tide backs up and comes
in all at once, as a wave, moving as fast as 24 MPH and growing
as large as 30 feet high. Although tidal bores are predictable
and regular, they can be dangerous and are capable of doing
millions of dollars in damage and killing hundreds of people.
A
tidal bore moves with the entire ocean pushing behind it, and
it is an eerie, awesome phenomenon, all the more exciting because
it is as predictable as the tides. A tidal bore is an amazing
thing to witness, the gravity of the sun and moon pushing an
immense lump of water up rivers and fjords and deltas and inlets
sometimes hundreds of miles from open ocean. Tidal bores are
fascinating and weird. They make the ocean flow like a river,
and rivers flow like the ocean. Seeing a tidal bore moving up
a river is like seeing a gray whale, 100 miles up the Mississippi
River.
For
fishermen and sailors and unsuspecting beach-combers, a tidal
bore can be a benign hazard to navigation or a deadly force.
Most people go out of their way to avoid tidal bores, but there
are handfuls of skilled adventure seekers who aren't content
to watch such weird power from a safe distance. Such people
feel the only way to enjoy nature is to bang heads with it,
and challenge that weird energy by attempting to catch and ride
it, for miles: up an inlet or an estuary or a fjord or a river.
The weirder the better.
BORED!
is a series of six (6), half-hour TV shows which follow a group
of surfers, kayakers and water safety professionals as they
span the globe to find, challenge and ride the world's greatest
tidal bores.
The
group is lead by Brad Gerlach, a world championship-contending
professional surfer from the 80s who became doubly famous in
the winter of 2001 for being one of the the four first surfers
to ride 25-foot waves at the Cortes Bank, an open-ocean reef
located 100 miles offshore of Baja, Mexico. Gerlach is an Olympic-class
athlete who happens to be a surfer. He is in his middleÜthirties
and as good as ever. Gerlach is always up for a new wave-riding
challenge, even if it is the antonym to the Cortes Bank: riding
very long, tide-driven waves, 100 miles inland.
Brad
Gerlach also happens to be a very, very funny man. He is a natural
comic with a black-belt mimic with a frighteningly quick wit.
Two years ago Gerlach won a 2000 SURFER Magazine Surf Video
Award for his comic impersonations of Tom Carroll and other
famous surfers. Anyone who has been around Gerlach or traveled
with him is aware of his endless comic skills. Those with personality
or physical quirks tread straight when he is in range.
As
Show Host, Gerlach leads a revolving group of Celebrity Surfers
and Surfing Celebrities, including the likes of Brock Little,
Laird Hamilton, Flea Virostko and Kelly Slater from the surfing
world, and Chris Isaak, Woody Harrelson and other celebrities
who surf.
As
a contrast to the piratical water antics of Brad Gerlach and
his surfer friends. BORED! will also throw some of the world's
best rough-water and ocean kayakers into the mix. Surfers and
kayakers sometimes can't always just get along and they have
been known to be enemies in nature, competing for the same waves
in the same waters with very different methods. There is a homo-sapiens/Neanderthal
quality to the conflict between surfers and kayakers. Surfers
ride waves standing and use leg power to keep moving. Kayakers
ride waves sitting, and use arm power to keep moving. Surfers
think kayakers are dorks. Kayakers think surfers are snobs.
The
conflict in surfer methods and kayaker personalities will lend
a Survivor-like quality to BORED! as the two sides prove which
method is superior for riding the world's longest waves, the
longest.
BORED!
begins in spring, for the spring tides on the Severn River in
England, where the ??-foot Atlantic tide moves east through
the ever-constricting Severn Estuary, then up and into the Severn
River with energy to spare. The Severn Bore is like a giant
salmon, migrating from the ocean to 22 miles inland where it
eventually poops out and dies. Surfers have been riding the
Severn Bore longer than any other bore, and in ??? British surfer
Rodney Sumpter staked an unofficial world title bid of ??? miles.
In England, BORED! throws together the men and women who will
spend the next year traveling the world from England across
the English Channel. The surfers gather under Brad Gerlach's
wing and begin to catalyze, bubble and pop. Surfers are very
competitive by nature and with nature. With fame and glory and
a Guinness World Record on the line, the surfers who will be
spending so much time together chasing natural phenomena around
the world begin to mix and bounce and spark off each other.
In
Arab countries, they say, "I fight my brother. My brother
and I fight our cousin. My brother and my cousin join me to
fight the world." In England, the surfers postpone their
inter-squabbles to meet these kayaker dorks who show up with
their funny boats and paddles and helmets and attitudes. Ocean
kayakers and surfers have been known to be enemies in nature,
and those two groups begin to rub and chafe against each other
as they get to know each other and test strengths and weaknesses
and check out this first stretch of water they are going to
challenge.
Overseeing
the health and welfare of both the kayakers and the surfers-in
and out of the water-is one of the world's foremost Personal
Water Craft racers and rescuers, Shawn Alladio. Ms. Alladio
is a former PWC racer who has become one of the world authorities
in using Personal Water Craft for rescue and water patrol in
dangerous ocean conditions. At 40-years-old, Ms. Alladio is
full of piss and vinegar and leads a hectic life, serving as
Mounted Water Police at big-wave surfing events from Hawaii
to South Africa, and also teaching courses in PWC rescue technique
to lifeguards, fire departments and military units around the
world. Shawn is a female, adrenalized Hell-Woman and proud of
it. Her job and duty on the BORED! crew is Safety Officer, making
sure all of the surfers, kayakers and crew make it to the tidal
bores, down the tidal bores, around the world and back home
in one piece.
Although
Shawn is really only responsible for Water Safety, she also
serves as the Designated Adult, and is a blessed peacemaker
between the kayakers and surfers, who become more and more frictive
as the tidal bores become more challenging and dangerous, and
the watermen and women push themselves and each other into more
dangerous situations.
As
BORED! Progresses from England to France to Canada to Alaska
to Brazil, all of the members of the BORED! crew are aware of
what awaits them at the end of their long year of travel: The
Silver Dragon, a tidal bore in China that holds a Guinness World
Record for being the most deadly destructive tidal bore in history.
According
to the Guinness World Records website, the Largest Tidal Bore
ever recorded swept up Hangzhou Bay in China on August 18, 1993.
The wave reached a height of 30 feet and traveled for 200 miles,
displacing millions of gallons of water, and killing more than
100 people.
This
Tidal Bore in China is known locally as the Silver Dragon, and
as the BORED! crew make way across continents, through the Seven
Seas and down progressively more dangerous Tidal Bores, the
Dragon is always ahead of them, the very serious, challenging
finale to their around the world effort.
The
Silver Dragon holds the Guinness World Record for Largest Tidal
Bore, but there is no Guinness World Record for Longest Ride
on a Tidal Bore. Enter Mr. Clive Wooster-Fop-Englishman-to rectify
that oversight.
Mr.
Wooster-Fop is a longtime employee of Guinness World Records
whose lonely, isolated sinecure as Assistant Keeper of Records
has become increasingly threatened by computerization and automation.
Now in his 50s, Mr. Wooster-Fop is horrified to find himself
a victim of technology, pushed out of the library and into the
elements to continue to earn a living.
Mr.
Wooster-Fop is out of his element in the elements. He is like
Cecil Vyse in A Room With a View. He is a man who belongs in
a room, surrounded by books, nose down in facts and research.
Mr. Wooster-Fop is not, as the Kinks said "the world's
most physical guy." He is a bookish Englishman who sunburns
easily and could set his own World Record for being the Most
Pale-Skinned Mosquito Magnet.
Mr.
Wooster-Fop is horrified when Guinness World Records management
digs him out of his secure little corner of the Records Library,
and assigns him to The Field. He is pointed in the direction
of these piratical surfers and kayakers who are attempting to
set some kind of silly, superfluous record for riding a tidal
bore. Mr. Wooster-Fop knows this is just an attempt by the Guinness
World Record marketing heads to make the stodgy Guinness World
Records "brand" more "extreme" to "Gen
Y" consumers, and the advertisers who are trying to reach
them. Mr. Wooster-Fop is opposed to the increasing commercialization
of the traditional Guinness World Records. But he is an Englishman
after all, and he does his best to do his duty for God and Guinness.
Mr.
Wooster-Fop leaves the familiar confines of London and makes
way to the Severn River, his first stop on this superfluous,
around-the-world jaunt. Mr. Wooster-Fop is not interested in
surfers or tidal bores. He is more interested in World's Largest
Cabbages and Longest Reigning Kings. He does not like the feel
of sand between his toes or the roar and crash of the surf.
Mr. Wooster-Fop is a snob, and when he arrives at the Severn
River, the element-hardened, stalwart members of the BORED!
crew don't know what to make of this Englishman who wears funny
glasses and talks non-stop about everything and nothing.
Mr.
Wooster-Fop is a relentlessly, nervously intelligent and knowledgeable
man. He understands the world through books, and it is a shame
that he is so uncomfortable there. Determined to do his duty
for God and Guinness, Mr. Wooster-Fop attempts to ingratiate
himself with the bore-riding watermen and women by providing
a non-stop narrative on everything that is going on around them:
history, geography, geology, biology-everything.
Mr.
Wooster-Fop knows everything, and to make up for what he lacks
in physicality and robustness, he is constantly bending the
ear of any of the BORED! members who will listen.
"Why look for the World's Biggest Boor," says one
of the surfers after about 10 minutes of Mr. Wooster-Fop's onslaught.
"I believe we are traveling with him."
And
so the relationship begins.
The
BORED! crew are so busy psyching each other out and figuring
out where to bury Mr. Wooster-Fop, they almost forget their
mission: Begin a year-long pursuit of the world's greatest tidal
bores by riding the Severn River Tidal Bore.
NEED
TO WRITE A PARAGRAPH ON THE HISTORY AND QUIRKS AND ENVIRONMENT
OF THE SEVERN BORE, FILTERING IN THE ROLES OF GERLACH, ALLADIO,
WOOSTER-FOP AND THE OTHER MEMBERS OF THE BORED! TEAM. NEED TO
WRITE IT AS COMPLETELY AS I DID THE TURNAGAIN ARM DESCRIPTION.
SEE BELOW.
From
the Severn River, the BORED! crew cross the English Channel
(two of the surfers paddle it, and are nearly killed by a freighter)
arriving in time to experience the Dordogne Mascaret. This is
France's reigning tidal phenomenon, since the Seine Mascaret
was engineered out of existence.
NEED
TO WRITE A PARAGRAPH ON THE DORDOGNE MASCARET, ITS QUIRKS AND
HISTORY AND ENVIRONMENT, AND THE CHALLENGES THE BORED! RIDERS
WILL FACE. NEED TO WRITE IT AS COMPLETELY AS I DID THE TURNAGAIN
ARM DESCRIPTION. SEE BELOW.
Crossing
the Atlantic, the BORED! crew arrive in Nova Scotia, where the
legendary Schubencadie moves for miles up the Bay of Fundy,
propelled by the world's largest tidal range.
NEED
TO WRITE A PARAGRAPH ON THE SCHUBENACADIE TIDAL BORE, IT'S QUIRKS
AND ETC. NEED TO WRITE IT AS COMPLETELY AS I DID THE TURNAGAIN
ARM DESCRIPTION. SEE BELOW.
Crossing
North America, the BORED! expedition flies into Anchorage, Alaska
then drives an hour south to the town of Girdwood, staging area
for their attempt on the Turnagain Arm Tidal Bore.
Mr.
Clive Wooster-Fop is a long way from home, and he points out
how much farther away from home was Captain James Cook in June
of 1778, when the legendary captain was poking around Alaska,
looking for the Northwest Passage. As the BORED! team members
check out Turnagain Arm by land and sea, they listen with half
an ear as Wooster Fop explain how Captain Cook anchored The
Resolution near the site of present-day Anchorage, and sent
some of his men poking around with the ship's cutter, looking
for that magic, easy northwest passage to the Atlantic. On board
The Resolution, Cook was shocked to see the tide drop more than
30 feet, stranding his ship on a sandbar, a long way from home
and help. When the tide camp up, The Resolution fortunately
floated free, allowing Cook to "turn again" and head
for deeper water.
Captain
Cook and his crew survived the treacherous tides of Turnagain
Arm-Mr. Wooster-Fop explains dramatically-but others that followed
were not so lucky. The sea-floor of Turnagain Arm is composed
of glacial sediment that flows in from the ocean and out from
the Susitna River. What appears to be solid at low tide is capable
of trapping unsuspecting people in a quicksand-like muddy much.
Over the years since Captain Cook nearly lost his ship, there
have been a number of horrific drownings in Turnagain Arm, as
men and women find themselves trapped to the waist in mud that
won't let go, with several million tons of ocean water flowing
at them at 12 MPH.
Clive
Wooster-Fop explains the history and geology of Turnagain Arm
to the surfers and kayakers, who can do nothing more than wait
for the bore to arrive in the afternoon. All they want to do
is get in the water and get after this thing, but they have
to suffer a day's worth of ear-bashing by Mr. Wooster-Fop.
The
Turnagain Arm is a job for Shawn Alladio, and she keeps a weather
eye on the surfers and kayakers as they challenge a wave that
breaks for miles over a potentially deadly bottom. At Turnagain
Arm, the surfers and kayakers catch the wave under their own
power but they are never far from the safe embrace of Shawn
Alladio on her PWC, who expertly hovers in front of and behind
the bore, always ready to snatch and grab anyone who has fallen
and is in danger of getting rolled or stuck.
The
surfers and kayakers successfully ride Turnagain Arm to the
end, a total ride of over three miles, then get out of the water
and out of the way in a hurry, as hundreds of white-backed,
spouting beluga whales move into the inlet to feed on a small
fish called a Hooligan.
Once
the bore is successfully ridden and everyone is safe and warm
and dry, Mr. Wooster- Fop continues to the story of Captain
James Cook-Englishman. Captain Cook survived Turnagain Arm and
the perils of sailing blindly through the North Pacific, only
to fall victim to a tragic case of misunderstanding in the Sandwich
Islands.
Sailing
around this new island discovery in 17??, Captain Cook was the
first white man to witness surfing and describe it to the world.
On Valentine's Day, in a classic case of mistaken ideity, Captain
Cook was killed and eaten by a gang of enraged islanders.
"Hey,
I just want to thank the dude for inventing surfing," says
one of the surfers.
Following
the path of Captain Cook, the members of Team Bored! turn south
the frigid, sub-Arctic glacial wastes of Alaska, the BORED!
team feels the need for heat, and they fly south, across the
equator to Brazil, to thaw out in the steamy nether regions
of equatorial Amazon.
The
dangers of frostbite and death by mud have been replaced with
malaria, crocodiles, piranhas and the tropical diseases that
thrive in the rich waters of the Amazon River.
NEED
A PARAGRAPH, SIMILAR TO THE TURNAGAIN ARM PARAGRAPH, WHICH EXPLAINS
THE DANGER, QUIRKS, HISTORY AND UNIQUE ATTRACTIONS OF THE ARAGUARI
POROROCA
From
the steamy Amazon, the BORED! crew follows the equator across
the South Atlantic, Africa and the Indian Ocean, and find themselves
with a number of options, and they turn to the ever-knowledgable
Mr. Wooster-Fop for guidance.
If
they turn north, they could challenge the Hugli Tidal Bore,
which moves up the Hugli River in West Bengal. The Hugli Tidal
Bore signals the coming of the monsoon southwesterly winds,
and causes much havoc with the river shipping.
Turning south, the BORED! crew has the option of exploring a
tidal bore which has little documentation about it, a wave which
moves up a river in the Kimberley region of northwestern Australia,
in an area mined with crocodiles and deadly snakes, spiders
and other nasties.
The
third option is to head for tropical Sarawak, where the Lupar
Benak moves up the Batang Lupar River near Sri Aman town.
The
chaos of India, the isolated danger of Australia or the mysterious
interior of Sarawak, the BORED! crew now turns to Mr. Clive
Wooster-Fop for help.
"He knows everything!" one of them exclaims.
A bond has now formed among the team, to the extent that they
will trust any decision Mr. Wooster-Fop makes. Whether it is
India, Australia or Sarawak, the penultimate wave these guys
attempt is just preparation for the Big Daddy of all tidal bores,
which has been waiting for them all this time in China.
BORED! ends with a truly extreme challenge, as the hardened,
traveled BORED! crew work together to challenge the legendary
Silver Dragon of the Qiantang River in Hangzhou, China. Mr.
Wooster-Fop is well aware of the Dragon, as it is already listed
in the Guinness World Records as The World's Largest Tidal Bore.
The Silver Dragon is truly dangerous, not just a long wave,
but a large wave which could very easily drown any of the surfers
or kayakers who make a mistake.
BORED!
ends with this dramatic attempt on the Silver Dragon, and we
follow along the exploits of a bunch of men and women from different
backgrounds who have been bound together by the rigors of world
travel and the challenge of challenging one of nature's most
exotic phenomenons.
BORED!
STAFF
Director and Cinematographer: Michael Graber
(www.michaelgraberproductions.com)
Producer, Writer, Research and Logistics: Ben Marcus
Cinematographers: Larry Haynes, Don King, Chris Malloy, Jack
McCoy, Sonny Miller.
AVID Editor:
Host: Brad Gerlach.
Water patrol: Shawn Alladio.
Clive Wooster-Fop: Michael Palin.
Celebrity Surfers: Darrick Doerner, Brad Gerlach, Laird Hamilton,
Brock Little, Chris Malloy, Keith Malloy, Flea Virostko.
Surfing Celebrities: Chris Isaak, Woody Harrelson,
Celebrity Kayakers:
LOCATIONS,
INFORMATIONS AND COSTS
1.
The Severn Bore: The Severn River, ???, England
Description:
Located in rural England, the bore meanders its way around a
stunning horseshoe bend on a 22-mile journey. Most renowned
for its popularity with surfers and the great distances they
have ridden.
Local
contact: Tom Wright, Boreriders Club
Tidal
difference:
Ideal
Time of year:
Tide
and weather information:
Water
temperature:
Height
of tidal wave:
Length
of wave:
Local
oddities:
Airline:
Roundtrip
from Los Angeles:
Lodging:
Lodging
range and probable cost:
Transportation
to site:
Transportation
cost:
Helicopter:
PWC
contact:
Local
cinematographers:
2.
Le Mascaret: Seine River, Haute Normadie, France
Description:
Second only to the China Dragon, this great bore reached heights
in excess of six meters. But it also caused great devastation
to shipping with unpredictable variation, and has been culled.
2.
Dordogne Mascaret, Dordogne River, Aquitaine, France
Description:
Since the dissipation of the mighty Seine, the Gironde Mascaret
has become dominant, with the Dordogne tributary producing the
most impressive wave train in France. Along its course, the
Port of St Pardon has become very popular with surfers. Local
contact:
3.
Schubenacadie Tidal Bore, Bay of Fundy, Nova Scotia, Canada
Description: The Schub is the largest bore in Canada, and is
the truly the home of the zodiac. The rollercoaster boat ride
takes one up close and personal with the bore as it meanders
its way through the sandy channels.
4.
The Turnagain Arm Tidal Bore: Turnagain Arm, Girdwood, Alaska.
Description:
Located an hour south of Anchorage, between the Kenai Peninsula
and the Chugach Mountains, the Arm is unique as the only fjord
exhibiting a tidal bore. This is the most picturesque of all
bores, and at a latitude of 61 degrees, it is also the coldest
environment!
Turnagain
Arm was so titled in ?? by Captain James Cook, when the renowned
explorer nearly lost one of the ship's ???-foot cutters and
a ???-man crew, when they were swamped by this strange wave
that came from nowhere-and kept on going.
Local
contacts: John Markel (Johnmarkel@hotmail.com) Andrew Wilkinson
(trips@girdwood.net) Cella Baker (cbaker@alyeskaresort.com)
Tidal
range: 39 feet.
Ideal
Time of year: August or September.
Tide
and weather information:
Water
temperature:
Height
of tidal wave:
Length
of wave: Bird Point to Third Parking Lot = three miles.
Local
oddities: Death by getting stuck in the mud. Glaciers and snow-capped
mountains. Beluga whales getting stuck on sandbars, and parading
in by the dozens in the wake of the bore.
Airline:
Alaskan.
Roundtrip
from Los Angeles:
Lodging:
Alyeska Prince Hotel, Girdwood, Alaska.
Lodging
range and cost:
Transportation
to site:
Transportation
cost:
Helicopter:
Helicopter
cost:
PWC
contact:
PWC
cost:
Local
cinematographers:
Cinematographer
cost:
5.
Araguari Pororoca: The Amazon River, Macapa, Brazil
Description:
The most impressive pororoca and the most feared among the natives.
It is reputed to actually form offshore on the vast delta banks.
In the spring season of 2001, the river was conquered by the
growing pororoca surf industry.
6.
The Hugli Tidal Bore, Hugli River, West Bengal, India Description:
The Hugli bore is renowned for the destruction it has caused
to ships. With the strong surge from the monsoon southwesterlies,
the wave is unpredictable in size.
7.
Lupar Benak: Batang Lupar River, Sri Aman Town, Sarawak Description:
The Lupar Benak is the largest of several bores in the estuaries
of the Teluk Datu in southwestern Sarawak. Popular with both
locals and tourists, the benak has been documented for the destruction
it has reeked on shipping.
8.
The Silver Dragon, Qiantang River, Hangzhou, China
Description:
The mighty silver dragon! Everyone knows this monster amongst
tidal bores. Revered by the Chinese, the dragon is steeped in
myth, and worthy of its claim as one of the natural wonders
of the world.
FIXED
COSTS PER SHOW
1.
Weekly fee for director: $3500 x 6 = $21000
2.
Weekly talent fee for Clive Wooster-Fop: $5000 x 6 = $30000
3.
Weekly talent fee for Show Host $3000 X 6 $18000
4.
Per show research/writing fee for Ben Marcus: `$2000 x 6 $12000
5.
Weekly fee for cinematographer #2 $2000 X 6 $12000
6.
Weekly fee for cinematographer #3 $2000 X 6 $12000
7.
Weekly water patrol fee for Shawn Alladio. $2000 X 6 $12000
8.
Weekly talent fee for Surfer #1: $1000 X 6 $ 6000
9.
Weekly talent fee for Surfer # 2: $1000 X 6 $ 6000
10.
Weekly talent fee for Surfer #3: $1000 X 6 $ 6000
11.
Weekly talent fee for Kayaker #1: $1000 X 6 $ 6000
12.
Weekly talent fee for Kayaker #2 $1000 X 6 $ 6000
13.
Weekly talent fee for Kayaker #3
$1000 X 6 $ 6000
$25,500 $153,000
14.
Weekly fee for local guide $ 2000 X 6 $12000
15.
Weekly cinematography fee for local cinematographer
$1000 X 6 $ 6000
$28,500
$171,000
PER
SHOW COSTS
Air
travel (X13, from Los Angeles) $13,000
Transportation
$1000
Lodging
(X 13 X 7)
Food
OTHER
FIXED COSTS
Insurance:
Editing
(per show):
Film
and processing (per show):
TV
PRODUCTION RESUME FOR BEN MARCUS
THE
NORSE SEA: JANUARY 1997
Co-producer
"The Norse Sea" for SURFER TV.
This
was a half-hour show which I co-produced with Todd Lynch at
SURFER in 199?. I lead the trip to Norway with Flea Virostko,
Anthony Ruffo, Josh Mulcoy and Shawn Barron. Jeff Divine was
the photographer. Sonny Miller was the cinematographer. We traveled
from Stavanger to the Lofoten Island in October, and didn't
get a whole lot of surf.
Because
we didn't get the surfing footage we wanted, we had to hustle
a little. I found some pretty stunning BASE jumping footage
from a video called 1St BASE to pad the half-hour show. I also
arranged with Terje Haakonsen to use some snowboarding footage
he had shot in Lofoten the winter before.
I
also arranged permission to use music from Norwegian bands Yelp
and ???. I wrote the narration and flew down to southern California
to help Todd Lynch edit the show.
The
Norse Sea came out okay, even with all the padding.
CREATOR,
WRITER, PRODUCER, EDITOR: THE SURFER MAGAZINE SURF VIDEO AWARDS
1995 TO 1999
In
199? I convinced SURFER Magazine to establish an awards show
somewhere between the Oscars and the MTV Video Awards. The show
would be done live, in conjunction with the SURFER Magazine
SURFER Poll Awards.
It
took some convincing, but they relented. I worked with Fran
Battaglia on the first show, and established what has become
a great tradition.
The
First Annual SURFER Magazine Surf Video Awards was a monster,
both in production and presentation.
I
arranged to have Beta SP copies of all the videos made that
year sent to SURFER Magazine. Working with editor Fran Battaglia
on an AVID Media Composer, we watched every second of about
30 mind-numbing surf videos, picking out the best clips for
the established categories and making up new ones as we went
along.
For
each category there was an intro segment which introduced the
category and the Guest Presenter. Then we ran five nominated
clips in each category, timed all the gaps for the Host and
Guest Presenters to talk, and then announced the winner. And
that right there is so much work, you wouldn't even believe
it.
Because
the show was done live in front of a private audience, we felt
free to use any music or movie clip we wanted. That first season
we used The Ramones' California Sun as the background to the
opening montage. Looking through all the footage, we came up
with the Jeff Spicoli Memorial and The Trophee du Beavis and
Butthead as original categories, along with Best Tuberide, Worst
Wipeout, Worst Drop In, Cinematography, best Performance by
a Male Surfer, Best Performance by a Female Surfer, Lifetime
Achievement Award and Video of the Year.
The
First Annual SURFER Magazine Surf Video Awards went over big.
We showed it after the SURFER Poll. I was the nervous host,
Fran operated the Beta player and Steve Hawk wrote the scripts
and did traffic control on the Guest Presenters and Winners.
About
halfway through the show, Brock Little came backstage bubbling,
"It's over the top! You're killing it!" He was right.
I don't remember much from that night, but one thing that stands
out was the introduction to Biggest Wave. I had cut together
an intro which showed Greg Noll riding that huge wave at Outer
Reef Pipeline in the 60s. He came on after that and said, "What
do I think of the nickname The Bull? Well it's better than shithead."
After
the intro I came on and said this, "Please put your hands
together for one of the bravest men to ever set two feet on
a surfboard. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Shithead."
Well the place just went berserk as Greg "aw shucked"
his way onto the stage. That was rewarding.
THE SECOND, THIRD AND FOURTH ANNUAL SURFER MAGAZINE SURF VIDEO
AWARDS
I
worked with Fran Battaglia every year for the next three years
to produce the show, and we kept coming up with good stuff.
Choosing the opening song and cutting the opening montage was
always fun, and in a row we used ?????, White Lines by Grandmaster
Flash and The Ocean by Led Zeppelin.
By
the fourth show I was taking over the AVID machine whenever
I could. Fran will never work with me again.
The
SURFER Magazine Surf Video Awards is the only thing I miss about
SURFER Magazine. That thing was a bear to put together. I learned
a lot about video and film formats and was exposed to the mysteries
of AVID editing. All in all it was rewarding, working for weeks
to produce a one-hour show that was either loved or ignored
by a live audience of several thousand drunk monkeys.
I've
been trying to convince swell.com to do an online version of
the Video Awards, but they don't seem to have their act together.
The
SURFER Magazine Surf Video Awards are still being produced by
SURFER, but I've had more than a few people tell me it's just
not the same.
OTHER
TV AND VIDEO CREDITS
FIJI
FOR TAYLOR STEELE
Shot some video of Rob Machado, Chris Gallagher and Adam Replogle
surfing in front of stoked Fijian villagers on the island of
Bega, which Taylor Steele used in one of his videos.
IRELAND
Some of the video I shot on a surf trip to Ireland was used
in the Ireland TV show for SURFER Magazine.
MTV'S
HISTORY OF SKATEBOARDING
For an MTV History of Skateboarding show I provided 70s-era
Super 8 movies of my friends and I skateboarding around Santa
Cruz in our puka shells and Hawaiian shirts. MTV transferred
all that Super 8 to Beta and used it in the show.
MTV'S
HISTORY OF SURFING< br> For MTV's History of Surfing I was interviewed
WHIPPED
During the winter of 2001 I consulted with Eric Nelson and Curt
Myers on their video about the 2000/2001 big-wave season at
Mavericks. I suggested the title "Whipped," wrote
interview questions for them and tracked down some Norwegian
music from Yelp, which they used over the opening intro.
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