Ben In LA
Latest Update: August 12, 2004
AUGUST 12, 2004
SANTA CRUZ, CALIFORNIA
TO WHOM IT MAY ANNOY
BELOW YOU WILL FIND AN ONGOING EMAIL BETWEEN BEN MARCUS AND ALEX DICK-READ OVER THE SYSTEM OF PAYMENT SURFER'S PATH USES TO COMPENSATE THEIR CONTRIBUTTORS.
I THINK IT SUCKS, AND I SAID SO.
THEY'LL PROBABLY NEVER PAY ME NOW, SO I MAY AS WELL GET SOME ENTERTAINMENT VALUE OUT OF THIS.
ALEX DICK-READ'S STATEMENTS ARE IN NORMAL TYPE AND MINE ARE IN ALL CAPS.
ENJOY.
BEN
Ben
So you think we should change the way things work here (ie in the UK) just for you, do you? Who do you think you are?
YOU SHOULD CHANGE IT FOR EVERYONE.
PAY
ON
TIME
Yep, and others I think. And you got paid in the usual way for Woodshed Jed. Why didn’t you kick up a stink back then?
I PROBABLY DID AND YOU PROBABLY FORGOT ABOUT IT IN A HAZE OF POT SMOKE.
And? Sort it out then. Maybe you’re in the wrong business.
STARTING TO LOOK THAT WAY.
Or maybe you’re just in business.
IT WOULD BE GREAT TO BE IN THE BUSINESS OF WRITING FOR A LIVING AND IT ALMOST WORKS EXCEPT FOR ONE SMALL PROBLEM (SEE BELOW)
YOU SAID "WE DO THIS FOR THE LOVE."
I DID IT FOR THE LOVE FOR 10 YEARS. 130 ISSUES OF SURFER MAGAZINE.
THE MAVERICKS ARTICLE WAS ONE OF THE 10 MOST IMPORTANT ARTICLES THAT EVER APPEARED IN THAT MAGAZINE.
IF WRITTEN MORE GOOD THINGS ABOUT SURFING THAN ALMOST ANYONE ALIVE.
I DID IT FOR LOVE, NOW I WANT TO DO IT FOR A LIVING
BUT IT DOESN'T WORK.
MY FAULT? LACK OF TALENT? LACK OF EXPERIENCE? LACK OF SPEED? LACK OF EFFICIENCY?
NOPE. THE PROBLEM IS ON T'OTHER END.
That’s exactly what everyone else in business has to
do – harrass people who owe them money so they can pay the people they owe.
THAT IS WHAT I AM DOING. I AM HARASSING YOU.
I DON'T WANT TO. I HAVE TO.
I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO.
Wakey wakey. Are you that naïve? Such a tortured artist that you failed to learn how things actually work?
I'M LEARNING AND I'M TRYING TO CHANGE IT.
AGAIN, IF YOU GUYS CAN'T HANDLE IT, THEN I WON'T BURDEN YOU ANY FURTHER.
And besides, don’t start attacking me for the wrongs of other magazines....
THEY'RE ALL THE SAME
I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT BE DIFFERENT
WRONGO!
what a fucking stupid excuse for cussing someone: “oh, everyone’s horrible to me so I thought I’d attack you”..... Baby.
I ATTACK EVERYONE WHO DOESN'T PAY ON TIME.
ASK THE GERMANS.
ASK THE FRENCH.
ASK SURFER.
It is pretty crap,the UK payment system, but I’m in no position to change it.
I DON'T SEE WHAT IS SO "U.K" ABOUT YOUR "PAYMENT SYSTEM"
I DOUBT THERE IS A LINE IN THE MAGNA CARTA THAT SAYS "ALL MAGAZINES MUST PAY AFTER THE ISSUE COMES OFF THE STANDS"
I THINK THAT IS JUST YOUR SYSTEM, AND IT SUCKS.
AGAIN, IF ASKING TO BE PAID ON TIME IS A BURDEN, I WON'T BURDEN YOU ANYMORE
AND I LOOKED IT UP ONLINE. IN THE MAGNA CARTA, "ON TIME" IS DEFINED AS "WHENCE THINE ISSUE IS OFT THE PRINTING PRESS AND ON THE STANDS."
WWW.MAGNACARTAFORDOLTS.COM
I JUST THOUGHT YOU WERE ON THE UP AND UP.
And when I can I speed things up as much as possible for polite contributors who are getting concerned. Or I try and flow them extra work for no fee (Independent feature?), just because I sympathise with their/your plight.
NOTHING CAME OF THAT, BUT THANK YOU.
I AM UNFAILINGLY POLITE WHEN PEOPLE ARE POLITE TO ME.
BUT WHEN THEY ARE RUDE, I AM RUDE BACK
AND I'M GOOD AT IT.
I USUALLY REFLECT BEHAVIOR BACK, SO IF YOU THINK I AM RUDE AND AN ASSHOLE, CONSIDER THE SOURCE.
Like I’ve said before (and you’ve never acknowledged this ) we work with many esteemed contributors and they don’t act the way you are.
WHO IS ESTEEMED?
What exactly is it that makes you so special?
NOTHING SPECIAL ABOUT ASKING TO BE PAID ON TIME.
IT'S JUST FAIR.
IF YOU DON'T WANT TO BE FAIR, THEN FINE.
Yep, you, like most of our contributors, did a great job. Thanks.
YOU'RE WELCOME.
SEND MONEY.
I WANT TO GO BACK TO MONTANA.
PEOPLE HAVE INTEGRITY THERE. A HANDSHAKE IS A HANDSHAKE
YOU KNOW, ALL THE WILD WEST STUFF.
LOTS OF ENGLISH THERE: A COUPLE FROM YORKSHIRE AND A GUY FROM HASTINGS.
No, you get paid the way evveryone else does.
TWO MONTHS LATER. MAYBE.
The point you’re missing here is that no one is stringing you along. There is a system, and it’s bigger than you.
YOU SAID THAT YOURSELF IN YOUR EMAIL "THEY WILL STRING YOU ALONG AS LONG AS THEY CAN" (SEE BELOW)
YOU SAID THAT. YOUR WORDS. NO TYPOS.
BUT AGAIN, ANOTHER MEMORY LOST TO A HAZE OF POT SMOKE.
"THCENILITY" I CALL IT.
YOU CAN USE THAT IF YOU WANT.
Well, keep working for the Journal if they are the only ones you love.
DONE.
So have you laid into the French mags, the German mags, Surfer? I doubt it. But you’ve laid into us.
ASK THE FRENCH AND THE GERMANS IF I HAVE LAID INTO THEM
THEY WILL SAY "OUI!" AND "JAH!"
DIRK HERPEL AT SURFERS GERMANY = dirk.herpel@surfersmag.de
DAVID AT SURF SESSION = david@surfsession.com
Even though there’s a sign on the door saying “We Open at 9am”, ‘
NO THE SIGN SAYS: "WE PAY WHEN THE ISSUE COMES OFF THE STAND TWO MONTHS LATER. IT'S NOT FAIR, BUT TOUGH SHIT."
The Ben’ has decided to kick up a fuss because he wants it opened at 7am. All those Hollywood neighbours of yours seem to be giving you airs and graces way above your station.
YOU NEED TO LEARN HOW TO SPELL.
IT'S "NEIGHBORS"
ASKING TO BE PAID ON TIME IS JUST FAIR.
That line come from your Governor?
I SAW GOVERNOR SCHWARZENEGGER AT MALIBU THE OTHER DAY, MAKING A SPEECH AT A WEDDING.
GERRY LOPEZ SAYS HE'S A NICE GUY AND A SMART GUY.
AND HE HAS INTEGRITY.
Not if you don’t want to see them and use your brain to understand a reality, instead of using your emotions and ego to see only what you want.
PERCEPTION IS REALITY.
THE ONLY LAW THAT CAN'T BE ARGUED IS THE SPEED OF LIGHT.
EVERYTHING ELSE IS NEGOTIABLE.
ALL I'M ASKING IS TO BE PAID ON TIME.
NOT THAT EXTRAVAGANT A WISH REALLY
BUT IF YOU GUYS CAN'T HANDLE IT, YOU CAN'T HANDLE IT.
NO BIG DEAL. NO SURPRISE.
IT'S THE SURF INDUSTRY.
No, screw you. We pay you when you would normally get paid, not when his majesty spits his dummy.
YOU PAY WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE IT.
WHAT IF PEOPLE TURNED IN THEIR WORK WHEN THEY FELT LIKE IT?
WHAT IF WENT DOWN TO BILL PARR'S HOUSE AND ROUNDED UP PHOTOS WHEN I FELT LIKE IT?
WHAT IF I PROOFED THE PAGES AND WROTE CAPTIONS WHEN I FELT LIKE IT?
PROMPTNESS AND EFFICIENCY SHOULD BE RESPONDED IN KIND.
No Ben, you are poor.
RICH IN EXPERIENCE.
AND TALENT.
That’s why you’re freaking. Organ ise your business
"ORGANIZE"
as a freelancer so it works, don’t take your inefficient working methods out on those who pay you.
I AM ORGANIZING MY BUSINESS. I'M INSISTING THAT A BUNCH OF SLACKERS PAY ON TIME.
I DO IT WITH EVERYONE.
DOESN'T WORK, BUT I HAVE TO TRY.
INEFFICIENT WORKING METHODS?
I AM A FASTER AND BETTER WRITER THAN YOU COULD EVER HOPE TO BE.
More than anyone else I’ve evr come across in the industry. Most people are pretty cool
SO AM I, I JUST DON'T TOLERATE FLAKES.
Sad but true.
PEOPLE LIKE READING SACKLUNCH. IT TELLS THE TRUTH.
THIS IS GOING ON THERE TOO.
Hasn’t worked this time. My boss was actually going to pay you straight away to try and shame
WHAT IS SO SHAMFEUL ABOUT BEING PAID ON TIME?
YOU but I managed to stop him.
THANKS A LOT.
I'LL RETURN THAT FAVOR SOME DAY.
On a matter of principle there’s no way he should pay you early just because you act like a wanker
PAYING ON TIME IS NOT PAYING EARLY.
IT'S PAYING ON TIME.
It might be news to you, but YOU do not call the shots around here.
NEITHER DO YOU, OBVIOUSLY.
MONGO JUST PAWN IN GAME OF LIFE.
I don’t either, but I can have influence if I want.
WHY DO I DOUBT THAT?
eg Derek Hynd recently did some great stuff for us.
HE'S VERY GOOD.
He’s always ready to get angry at a publisher or anyone in the industry who doesn’t treat him right. He did a cool story, he accepted the payment schedule as he always has.
DID HE?
He got into money troubles and politely asked if payment could be speeded up and, guess what, we paid him quick.
THAT MEANS HE DID NOT ACCEPT THE PAYMENT SCHEDULE AS IT WAS.
HE DIDN'T. HE ASKED YOU TO PAY HIM IN ADVANCE, WHICH MEANS, "ON TIME."
He was nice, and in need, so we tried to help ease things for him. You’re in need, but not nice. We won’t dance to your tune. It sucks.
FINE. KEEP IT.
VICIOUS.
Very. Tends to have a negative effect.
NO I WAS CORRECTING YOUR SPELLING.
YOU SPELLED IT "VISCIOUS."
DON'T YOU USE A SPELLCHECKER?
I THOUGHT YOU WERE AN EDITOR.
I’m not ashamed, and taking orders from you does NOT equate to doing the right thing.
PAYING ON TIME IS DOING THE RIGHT THING.
PAYING WHEN AN ISSUE COMES OUT IS DOING THE RIGHT THING.
YOU DON'T WANT TO DO THE RIGHT THING, FINE.
True. But ‘on time’ according to whose schedule?
WHEN AN ISSUE COMES OUT, YOU PAY.
THAT IS THE ONLY FAIR SCHEDULE.
YOU KNOW THAT.
YOU JUST CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT.
YOU CAN'T BARK AT YOUR BOSSES BECAUSE YOU WOULD GET FIRED.
SO YOU BARK AT ME.
SWELL.
You just made up your own schedule one week and then told everyone we don’t pay on time. If you’d thought about it/asked/remembered you would have noticed that other people’s schedules are a bit more fixed and longstanding.
A BIT MORE SELFSERVING AND WRONG, YOU MEAN.
We don’t make them up week to week like you, ours has been the same since day one, eight years ago....and we’ve not fallen out with anyone over it...until “The Ben”.
YOU JUST SAID DEREK ASKED TO BE PAID EARLY.
GUESS WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF YOU HADN'T DONE IT?
You know all about insulting people don’t you. Gotta put a lot of effort into it to get a reputation like yours, Ben.
I AM TOLD THAT I BURN BRIDGE.
I DON'T BURN THEM, I NUKE THE ONES THAT NEED NUKING.
IF THAT BRIDGE IS MEANT TO BE THERE, IT WILL BE REBUILT.
IT NOT, IT WASN'T MEANT TO BE THERE.
DESPITE MY REPUTATION, PEOPLE STILL SEEM TO WANT TO WORK WITH ME.
SOMETIMES WHEN YOU STAND UP FOR THE RIGHT THING, IT WORKS OUT.
AND WHO THE FUCK CARES WHAT ANYONE IN THE SURF INDUSTRY THINKS ANYWAY?
I QUOTE YVON CHOUINARD: "OF ALL THE INDUSTRIES I DEAL WITH, THE SURF INDUSTRY IS THE WORST."
HE'S RIGHT
No one’s is stringing you along. We pay at the usual time, every time, every contributor, every issue. Until “The Ben” came along.
YOU SAID IT YOURSELF ALEX, THAT THE BUYOUT FOR MALIBU WAS A LOT AND THEY WOULD "STRING ME ALONG."
YOUR WORDS. I HAVE THE EMAIL. SEE BELOW.
THECENILITY, SHORT TERM MEMORY
LAY OFF THAT STUFF.
IF EFFECTS YOUR SPELLING, TOO.
In fact, you obviously didn’t notice, quite the opposite.
Another pertinent point you’ve ignored. You haven’t acknowledged that initially I was trying to do you favours, have you?
"FAVORS"
YES I DID AND I THANKED YOU, POLITELY. SEE BELOW.
WHEN YOU SAID HOW MUCH YOU WOULD PAY, I THANKED YOU, EFFUSIVELY AND POLITELY.
WHEN YOU SAID "THEY WON'T PAY UNTIL SEPTEMBER AND THEY WILL STRING YOU ALONG" I REACTED NEGATIVELY, AS ANYONE WOULD.
You haven’t acknowledged that the whole Hawaii freebie came about because Drew and I decided it would be cool to hand it on to you because we like you and think you’re good.
WELL THE HAWAII FREEBIE CAME ABOUT BECAUSE DREW COULDN'T GO.
BUT I DID THANK YOU, DIDN'T I? OF COURSE I DID.
AND I WROTE THE STORY, COLLECTED THE PHOTOS AND ASKED WHEN YOU WANTED IT AND NEVER HEARD BACK.
I HAVE EXCELLENT MANNERS.
I HOLD DOORS OPEN FOR LADIES.
IN MONTANA, I STOPPED A HALF DOZEN TIMES TO HELP PEOPLE IN DISTRESS ON THE ROAD.
I TIP TOO MUCH.
I AM TOO FULL OF THE MILK OF HUMAN KINDNESS.
BUT IT'S HARD TO BE AN OVER-TIPPER WHEN PEOPLE DON'T PAY ON TIME.
Keep ignoring people’s kindnesses because it helps build up your paranoid case against them being evil forces out to get you.
JUST PAY ON TIME.
THAT IS ALL I'M ASKING.
NOT THAT EXTRAVAGANT.
Great approach.
No, you don’t. And you know it. That’s why you’re still writing about it. Because your righteous indignance hit a brick wall straight away.
BECAUSE YOU PEOPLE ARE TOO SLACK TO PAY ON TIME AND YOU HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO THEN ANSWER EMAILS.
GET A SPELLCHECKER.
If this was in court the judge would have said straight away: “no case, you knew the score before you wrote for these people and if you didn’t you should have found out before you did the work”.
NO THE JUDGE WOULD SAY; "I DON'T KNOW A LOT ABOUT SURFING BUT I'VE READ THIS CHAP BEN MARCUS AND HE'S QUITE GOOD, REALLY." THEN HE WOULD BUST OUT HIS MAGNA CARTA AND SAY: "SEE, HERE 'TIS" 'THOU SHALT HONOR THY CONTRIBUTORS WHEN THE ISSUE HITS THE STANDS, NOT TWO FUCKING MONTHS LATER."
SO IT IS WRITTEN, SO IT SHALL BE DONE.
See above. I could easily have done something about it (by pleading you as a special case), but as of your first salvo, I haven’t wanted to. You have a REALLY shitty approach and deserve absolutely NO special treatment, even though your story was great and you did work really hard to get stuff to us. I do appreciate that, Ben, but it’s outweighed by your crap approach. Try another, more friendly approach. It might work better.
OKAY, LET'S START OVER:
PLEASE PAY ME ON TIME.
Like I said, shocking as it may seem, Ben, we don’t take our orders from you.
NOPE, ONLY FROM THE PEOPLE WHO PAY YOU, ON TIME.
I know my job, which is dealing with a ton of great (real) surfing people around the world, and the occasional bitter old asshole, too.
WHO IS THE BITTER OLD ASSHOLE? DO I KNOW HIM?
IF I'M BITTER IT'S BECAUSE I WOULD LOVE TO BE ABLE TO TRAVEL AND WRITE AND IT ALMOST WORKS EXCEPT FOR ONE THING.
WAIT FOR IT.
YES, THAT'S RIGHT. I DO GREAT WORK FOR PEOPLE WHO PAY WHEN THEY FEEL LIKE IT, TWO MONTHS LATER.
OTHER THAN THAT, IT'S GREAT.
Please stop this. I like a good argument but it’s taking up too much time.
SOMETHING TELLS ME YOU HAVE A LOT OF TIME ON YOUR HANDS.
I’d rather write to friendly, happy people, who use their brains to positive effect.
I DO POSITIVE THINGS EVERY DAY.
KEEP THE MONEY.
BUY BETTER POT.
BEN
Aloha
Alex
HERE IS THE EMAIL FROM JULY 30, IN WHICH YOU TOLD ME HOW MUCH I WOULD BE PAID. I WAS VERY POLIITE AND GRATEFUL, NO?
AND BELOW THAT IS THE EMAIL DATED AUGUST 3, IN WHICH YOU SAID "DON'T HOLD YOUR BREATH" AND "STRING IT ALONG AS LONG AS THEY CAN"
DON'T HOLD YOUR BREATH?
FUCK OFF.
WHO WOULDN'T GET PISSED?
KEEP THE MONEY.
I DON'T CARE.
Subj: Re: TSP $$$
Date: 7/30/2004 8:28:06 AM Pacific Standard Time
From: TheBenM
To: alex@surferspath.com
In a message dated 7/30/2004 7:20:28 AM Pacific Standard Time, alex@surferspath.com writes:
Hi Ben
Issue 44 of The Surfer’s Path is back from the printers and it looks great!
YAY. CAN'T WAIT. I LIKED THAT STORY
Thanks for your contribution. I just wanted to let you know that our accounts department requires an invoice for your work.
NO PROBLEM.
The total we owe you for this is UK£!!!!!!
WOW. I AM GOING TO LOOK UP THE EXCHANGE RATE RIGHT NOW.
WOW. 1.8 DOLLARS TO THE POUND. I'M RICH. THANKS.
I CAN PAY FORD CREDIT AND BUY A NEW CELL PHONE!!!! (SEE BELOW)
As soon as we receive an invoice we will begin payment procedures but in order to make this process as smooth as possible it would be good if you could include on your invoice the following details:
– your name, address and e-mail address
– the date of the invoice
– the amount owed to you
– the issue your work appeared in (Issue 43)
– your bank’s name and address
– your bank’s international transfer code
By sending this info on your invoice we will be able to pay you direct into your preferred account in your local currency.
GROOVY. CALIFORNIA DOLLARS
If you should wish to be sent a cheque for deposit in the UK please make that clear on the invoice.
NOPE. DIRECT DEPOSIT IS BETTER. THANKS
Thank you again for contributing to The Surfer’s Path.
THANK YOU FOR THE BIG BUCKS,
The mag is going from strength to strength thanks largely to the high quality of submissions.
MY SUBMISSIONS.
MINE!!!!!!
HI
We look forward to working with you again in the near future.
ME TOO
Til then,
Aloha
Alex
PS Ben, could you inform both Bill Parr and Jim Pidgeon that I have payment info I need to send them and that I need addresses so I can post them comp.
I CAN CONTACT JIM PIDGEON BY EMAIL.
BILL PARR IS THE LAST MAN IN AMERICAN WHO DOES NOT HAVE EMAIL.
I HAVE HIS PHONE NUMBER SOMEWHERE BUT I DROWNED MY CELL PHONE WHILE FISHING YESTERDAY SO IT MIGHT TAKE A LITTLE WHILE TO CONTACT HIM.
I THINK HE IS IN HAWAII.
Copies of Issue 44. Bill has the cover shot and a fair bit of dough due to him;
COOL.
Jim P has a small amount owed, but we need to let them both know! Thanks a lot.
WILL DO
THANKS
BEN
Alex
In a message dated 8/3/2004 6:22:35 AM Pacific Standard Time, alex@surferspath.com writes:
Hi Ben
Payment for Malibu will appear some time in September, so don’t hold your breath.
SEPTEMBER? BULLSHIT.
That’s the way they pay here, and always have, so please lower those expectations and chase another mag in the meantime.
WHAT A LOAD OF SHIT. WHY WOULD ANYONE WORK FOR YOU GUYS?
EVERYONE WONDERS WHY I AM LOYAL TO THE SURFER'S JOURNAL
BECAUSE THEY PAY ON TIME, GODDAMNIT.
It’s a big bill, too, so they’ll be wanting to string it out as long as they can, but I will chase it on your behalf, don’t worry.
SEND THIS TO THEM AND TELL THEM TO GET THEIR ACT TOGETHER.
STRINGING ALONG CONTRIBUTORS IS NOT THE WAY TO KEEP LOYAL CONTRIBUTORS.
MAN I AM TIRED OF THIS CRAP.
I DO WORK WHEN I AM SUPPOSED TO AND GET IT IN ON TIME AND THEN IT TAKES FOUR MONTHS TO GET PAID
BULLSHIT
They pay when the mag come OFF the shelf, not like in the US.
WELL THE US IS BS AND THE UK IS EVEN WORSE.
THE WORK IS DONE, THE MAGAZINE IS OUT.
PAY.
However, you might have to pay me an agents fee because your Malibu story has been picked up by a guy I know who is an editor of The Independent, one of the UK’s biggest and best broadsheet newspapers. He’s chomping at the bit to get a good Malibu story in one of their weekend glossy magazines and even more so, on the Marylin/Lawford story.
TELL HIM I WILL BE GLAD TO DO IT AND I HAVE GREAT PHOTOS TO GO WITH IT.
So I told him you would have to write one or both of those, not their West Coast correspondent, and gave him your e-mail.
THANKS
His name is Leonard Doyle, but he’s Foreign Editor, so it could be him or it could be the West Coast guy who gets in touch.
THANKS
Either way, 25% will just about do for me!
NO PROBLEM WITH THE 25%, IF IT HAPPENS.
BUT TELL YOUR PEOPLE THAT IF I DON'T HAVE THAT MONEY IN MY ACCOUNT BY FRIDAY I AM NEVER, EVER WRITING FOR THE SURFER'S PATH AGAIN.
THIS IS CRAP.
BEN
Aloha-ha...
ADR.
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